Why do I feel like crying?

Whatever she had could have been mine. But I chose to give it up. Another fine example of me giving up another chance to perform out there again.

It might not have been a very big or influential audience. Nevertheless, it’s still people watching me. The spotlight on me. Everyone’s watching me being at how good I am at what I do.

Like I promised myself before, GRAB EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY THAT COME BY but yet I broke it myself.

Sometimes I really wonder what the hell I’ve been thinking. I feel like breaking down inside because it was my own choice to lead to the result it is again. The choice was in my hands.

I’m not upset, it’s more like anger towards myself. Feeling like Im so fucking stupid to give up whatever little I have.

I need to stop sitting here feeling like a loser because I’m not one.

People who matter.

Hello everyone!

I’ve been trying to transfer my old text messages from my old phone to my current one and yet it’s not working! So I became desperate so Ive decided to transfer the messages that are the most important by typing it out by hand. It meant so much to me and will continue to mean so much more. These texts have pulled me through a very tough year for me. 2011 was the year I strived to change, where I had the most ups and downs, breakdowns, trials and tribulations. It also showed me who stayed and never left.

Decided to continue with the dedications!

Yu Hung and Wifey!

“Happy birthday faith! Hope your dreams of becoming a star or singer or even a teacher comes true! 🙂 remember if you have any problems you can SMS me!:) for now let’s word hard for our Os jia you faith! I pray you will constantly thank God for your existence because it is worthy to thank God for! 🙂 happy sweet sixteen birthday faith! Ps. It’s deepavali :)” – Hung

This is my best guy friend and his wife. Okay, fine they’re not married but they will get married and I’ll be the wedding planner after  I graduate with my diploma from Integrated Events Management:) Hahaha! I won’t charge a high price for your wedding:) Anyway, as I look back at my text messages from the past, when we were so much closer, you were the best guy friend I ever had. Not that now you’re not, but you have someone so much more important!:) Just wanna say thank you so much for being here for me no matter what happened – the text messages proved it. You’ve helped me go through so much with life, and thank you for being here for me; encouraging, listening and most importantly, having so much faith in me. You’ve been an awesome guitarist, and I look forward to every recording/jamming session:) I look forward to every single one of our meetings, because some way or another, you always find a way to make me smile! You’re one of the persons who’ve contributed to helping become who I am today and I thank you so much for that!:)

My favourite people

Nadia: Hey girl, thank you for being that supportive junior; being there to listen, and encouraging me when things get tough along the way. I’ve never regretted being your sec one pal, or else you wouldn’t have joined GB and we wouldn’t have chances to interact even more. I’m so glad to see you grow from that girl in sec one to that leader you are now. I know your O’s are approaching, and you’re pressing for time to study and study. I just wanna say you always always have me here and you can always come and look for me no matter what happens. You can even approach me in your studies:) xoxo

Violet: Hello Violet!:) I only remembered meeting you through GB and we grew to be closer friends? Thanks for being here for me as well, like how Nadia has been. You’re someone who has great leadership potential and I really mean that. Being a company leader really puts a lot of responsibility on your shoulder, and I’m pretty sure you’re one great leader. O’s are approaching, I wish you all the best. For PBB, I encourage you to really be proactive, stand out (in a good way), take initiative. I don’t know what else I have to say, but it’s a learning experience:) Take whatever you learnt back to GB, and groom the next generation of leaders:) xoxo

Hoi Luen: Hi bimbo! Even though we grew apart last year, we’ve alway remained close friends:) Thanks for always being here for me all the time. You’ve always tried to help in all the little ways you can, and somehow you always managed to sense that something’s wrong with me when others couldn’t:) Just know that whatever happens, I’ll always be here. You can always tell me things:) xoxo

Dedications <3

This has been due for such a long time!:)

The Clique’s

This is still, the one and only picture of our clique. I seriously miss those times in secondary school, where all of us were in white collar and most in the same class. Our friendship has gone through thick and thin, especially my relationship with y’all, but I just wanna thank you all the same for being here for me all the time. Throughout my entire life since I have known y’all. At the times when I was most unreasonable, you guys gave in to me. At the times when I was at my most temperamental, you guys tried listening. At the times when I feel the worst, y’all were here for me. Thank you so much! I know I haven’t been one of the best friend I should have been when y’all need me, but I promise I will try. Now that we’re all separated to all walks of life, I can say you guys are one of the biggest part of my secondary school life. I will never forget all the memories, the texts, the morning breakfast, the things we planned out together, the camps we’ve been through, prom, everything. ❤

Cheryl and me

Hey Cheryl;) We need to take more pictures, I swear. There isn’t one shot where you’re glam and I’m glam, together. It’s either you’re glam and I’m not. Or I’m glam and you’re not. I’m serious! So the next outing, we need to take one shot that both of us looks good in. Putting looks aside, I just wanna say thanks for being my awesome friend, really staying by me through so many things. Really for being my listening ear for every thing that’s going on in my entire life, whether it’s interesting or not. It’s been a great two years knowing you, and I just wanna tell you I’ll be here for you too no matter what. You can always tell me stuff if you’re comfortable, and don’t feel insignificant. Because you’re one of the most important people in my life. xoxo

Sheryl and me

Hello Sheryl. The first impression you gave me was that you were bossy. The first time we met was in choir:) And we just spoke briefly in sec one and two. We only got closer in Sec 2 when both of us were the only two chosen sec twos to join the China CIP with the other Sec 3s. I remembered it was my first trip without my parents, and I was supposed to be independent. To be honest, I really missed those times where we were shopping at Fuzhou City and I told you ‘Let’s not turn into any corners, let’s just go straight and shop. This way we wouldn’t get lost.’ We were the only two who didn’t have a teacher to accompany us, and we didn’t even want them:) I really missed those times, all the poker games, and late night supper, and the cold quail eggs and push monkeys:) Thank you for being a listening ear and for letting me know more about you, in Sec 4 when your mum scolded you for forgetting your entry proof and everything and you spent the afternoon with us in Macs:) We must stay in contact! xoxo

Wendy and me

Hi Wendy! You’ve always been there for me, like all the others have. You’re one of the most dramatic people I’ve ever met, especially your comments and actions never fail to make us laugh:) We always have this little quarrels over doing things, the latest was doing the BBQing of food at Phyllis’ place:) I love the camwhore moments we have!:) You’re also one of the people so prone to injuries I think I can compete with. So far, you’ve broken both your arms, and both your legs. And not to forget, your nose as well. So what’s next? Haha, just joking! Please, I don’t ever wanna see you injured! I can’t wait for school to be starting, especially we’re gonna be in the same school:) ❤

Mandy and me

Hello Mandy! I remembered meeting you in choir as well! I was so talkative, and at that time, I was hoping you’ll stay in choir which you eventually didn’t cos of your love for softball. Thanks for being the supportive friend I needed all these times, especially for my auditions for the Impresario, and everything:) You’ve been one of my greatest supporters, always encouraging me to do what I loved! Just know that I never wanna lose you, dear!:) Promise to stay in contact no matter what, and don’t feel like you’re not part of us during our gatherings:) xoxo

Phoebe and me

Hey Phoebe! I miss my dancing partner! I remember us dancing during LLS, that was one of the best moments in my life!:) I remembered you were in GB in primary school, but I didn’t really know you except that you were quite crazy, always appearing everywhere. I got to know you better when I was in sec 2, and hanging out with Mandy and Chang:) Then both of us were in council, and AK sent us both to LLS. We had so much fun there, especially the part where we were bunk mates! Hahah! We were in the same bunk, and I think I smacked you in the face at night:) Those 3 days and 2 nights was really awesome, with all the dancing, and running without shoes, and waking up in the middle of the night being thrown into the forest. I really miss you so much, especially now that you’re no longer in SG with us! I can’t wait for you to be back again, and we can shop and hang out more! I miss you so much, all of us do actually xoxo

Phyllis and me

Hey Phyllis! I don’t have another solo picture of you with me. We’re always in group pictures together! Hahah! I think I’ve known you for at least 10 years, since we were in GB together! Thanks for being such an awesome company leader:) I remember the first time I ever saw you cry was when I think, Siting got into trouble with the ahbengs and you were so worried for our reputation. That was the first time I ever saw you shed a tear! But really, thank you for being so clear headed while the rest of us continue with all of nonsense, and you always have to get us to snap out of it in order to get things going. xoxo

Guess I’m gonna stop here. Will continue with other people another time!:)

Because You loved me

Hey readers! 🙂

I really don’t know who ever bothers to read my blog. I might be the only one for all I know 🙂

Been listening to ‘Charice and Celine Dion’s duet in Madison Square’. It was one of Charice’s first performance, and the song ‘Because You Loved Me’ was a dedication to her mother. It was such a meaningful song, and the lyrics were so appropriate to her mother who taught her techniques to sing, and ever being so supportive of her 🙂

Today is a meaningful morning. I promise to do my dedications in my next post, which I’m going to do right now.

For all those times you stood by me. For all the truth that you made me see.  For all the joy you brought to my life. For all the wrong you made right. For every dream you made come true. For all the love I found in you. I’ll be forever thankful baby. You’re the one who held me up. Never let me fall. You’re the one who saw me through, through it all

You were my strength when I was weak. You were my voice when I couldn’t speak. You were my eyes when I couldn’t see. You saw the best there was in me. Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach. You gave me faith cause you believed. I’m everything I am. Because you loved me.

A promise?

Hello guys!

As usual, I spent some time watching Youtube covers. Youtube Channel hopping from place to place. And yes, I found that I am loving some of the covers. I guess I’ll have to make a promise to myself: I will take care of my voice, and I will take all chances/opportunities to perform, and be better in it.

Some people’s voices just amaze me, and I really wanna try and see what’s the furthest I can push myself to. I always seem to tell myself, that there’s only this much I can do, when I really believe I could have done more.

One more thing I need to take away from myself: that fright I have of standing in front of people to sing. That’s the one thing that’s gonna deter me from taking opportunities if I’m so afraid to go out there and grab what little chances I already have.

Things to do!

Hello people! 🙂

I’m in the midst of transferring all my things from the Macbook to the hard disk, because I’ve got to go down to RP tmr to do my laptop configuration. Hopefully it’s pretty quick, or else I’ll be stuck there the entire day *cross fingers*

It’s day 2 of not going to work when it’s a weekday- and I’ve just been lazing around. Haven’t been doing much except read the papers, transferring the documents, watching youtube videos on how to transfer EVERYTHING, and sleeping. Thats about what I’ve been doing yesterday and today. I need to get more organised, but the thing is, I just wanna rest. Probably going to go running for half an hour before dinner, then I’ll rest for the rest of the night. I’ll get to watch the Noose, and the Channel U show. *smiles*

My Phuket trip was so awesome! ❤ It was so much better than expected, and I loved every single part of it except the part where I got sunburnt, and the little flies that are simply everywhere!:) It was an eye opener especially the part at the night street. Mumsie signed the package, meaning I’ll get to go overseas again very soon! Pictures are already up on facebook, and I don’t like wordpress form of uploading pictures so I decided not to include the pictures here!

Cheerleading competition was awesome! Spent the entire day leading cheers in front of so many people, and I got to go on the news because I posed with the Minister. I’m so proud of my girls cos they looked so smart in their cheerleading costumes! ❤ Now I’m sick because I kept cheering and cheering till I’ve got no more voice:( Hopefully I recover soon, then I’ll get to start doing covers with Hung again! We’re hoping for more chances to perform gigs at Scape! So I’m praying it’ll happen too! I’m pursuing dance, and I promise to work on my vocals. If I have intentions to join a singing company, then I’ll have to learn to be more versatile in my singing. And not to forget, being able to recognise pitches/keys which is most important.

❤ Catch with y’all really soon!

BBQ, here I come!:)

Hey guys!:)

I’m all set for a BBQ with the girls + boys!:) I only pray for a few things:

  • I won’t be dramatic aka lose my temper/do anything childish
  • I won’t behave like a total retard
  • I will control my food intake
  • I won’t get sensitive and just focus on the friends I have
  • I will treasure the times we’re gonna catch up 🙂
  • Good weather!

I guess that’s about it:) I’m gonna take a lot of pictures with the girls cos I really miss them so much!! We needa catch up with each other 🙂

P.S: Can’t wait for the Phuket trip 🙂

Just finished the previous post.

Just finished the previous post, and I just felt that leaving with that particular last line seems pretty strong. And there’s just not a better way to be able to end that matter.

Can’t wait for the events that are starting to come really soon:) Tmr would be my last day at work!:) And after work, I’ll be heading down to see my cute cousin and my grandma:) Monday is left to submit my timesheet, pack my luggage, go shopping (hopefully) and attend the BBQ with the clique:) Let’s hope it all turns out fine!:) Tuesday to Friday, I’ll be off in my villa in Phuket and ignoring the technological gadgets in my life for the next few days and just enjoy being in the presence of my family and friends, with the first world advancements in the presence 🙂 When I’m back on Friday night, *play the song ‘Last Friday Night* I’ll be heading off to GB HQ to stay over in preparation of the Cheerleading Competition that is organised by HQ on Saturday🙂 Sunday would be the day out with my hilarious/loving people from M&S!:)

On a side note, I’ve always been thinking. If I ever further my studies overseas, I will not tell anyone except for my parents and grandparents and my relatives. I don’t wanna bear the hurt/pain of saying goodbye. I will only let my friends know after I’m gone. Doesn’t it make things easier for all of us?

<3, Faith

[Busy Day 1] Trying to make it work, but damn these times are hard.

Hey readers! ❤

I was so busy today. I went to work this morning – Dad sent me to work before sending Mother to work. So it saved me the travelling to work I hate so much. Basically, all I did was have breakfast, answered a few calls, and off I left for GB again!:)

Went back to GM, camwhored, and I left to meet Zhi Xuan with Tinghui. We travelled down to Paya Lebar Circle Line station, where we met up with Jolene and Colene. It’s great seeing those girls again 🙂 Missed those times where we planned events for GB, and we camwhored, taking part in different activities together. Sure, they might not be the coolest clique, but they’re all so awesome people 🙂

Posted some pictures of times I really missed, and times where I looked at my best because of the people around me. I really cannot say that we didn’t changed since we first met before. It’s a totally different thing whether to say if we changed for the good or for the worst, but I missed those guys so much!:)

Went to teach drill at Wellington Primary School with Jolene, Colene, Zhixuan and Tinghui. At first, I was up to a rough start with the junior girls cos they were pretty talkative and rude. Partly, I couldn’t understand that they were still kids so I’ve got to let them grow up. But slowly, as I try to lighten my heart, things became so much better. Didn’t really get to understand those girls. But to have seen them improve from what they did before, to what they have achieved before I left is just simply amazing 🙂

Been thinking a lot since I came home from today’s events, and I felt that I should have done a lot of things differently, then maybe I would have turned out someone better, someone whom people can treat seriously. For example, on how I’m not a studious student. I still wanna have my share of fun, but I’m really serious into achieving a good GPA in poly so I can enter a good university of my choice, unlike the limited choices that I could make after secondary school because of my results. Another thing I can’t truly ask/answer myself if I’m one of the most influential leaders in council or GB. Am I? Am I not? These are the kind of questions I wouldn’t be able to answer myself. These are questions I need people to tell me the answer to.

Pioneer Brigaders’ Brooch was one of the top most things I wanted to achieve in my entire life ever since I knew of its existence, one of the few things I would have wanted to receive in my entire life, one of the things that deep down is something that can prove to others as well as myself if I am truly a leader. It’s pretty upsetting how I didn’t receive it, and it truly made me doubt myself as a leader. The PBB experience, though it was good/okay, but it definitely make me look on another side of life, another side of how people can really be, how I really look at GB now. Don’t take me wrong. I’m not writing this in spite because I’m angry/rash/furious because of how I’m unable to receive that brooch. No, please don’t take me wrong. It just left me a scar that up till now, it’s still so hard to mend.

It feels/look like I’m really enthusiastic in GB/Council but ever since after the whole journey, I came back a different person. If you didn’t notice, I lost that lil part of my confidence in myself. That little key thing that mattered a lot to me made the key part of me being a leader shatter. I feel so fake because up till now, I still can’t put my whole heart into GB anymore. I’m sorry to have to say this, but it’s so true. I hesitate before accepting to serve in any event. I feel so distant from what I used to be so passionate about. The one thing that I grew up in my life with. I was here in GB since Primary 2, and look where have I gone?

I began to doubt myself. I can’t say ‘I will come back every week to serve, I can’t promise to come back and help Miss Wong anymore’. Sometimes I just felt, I shouldn’t have attended PBB after all. It really left me a deep scar there. Because when I return for GB, it just makes me hurt and feel like crying over and over again because of that thing I will not/never receive. I feel that whenever I go bac to attend events in GB, the experiences that I had in PBB just keeps replaying and replaying, the words that people said about me keeps replaying and replaying and I just can’t seem to go back anymore because it really hurts.

Because it serves as a constant reminder to me that I failed the PBB.

I’m standing here in the snow, on Fifth Avenue

And right now, radio’s all that we can hear.

Just realised another thing: My title is from song lyrics!!:) I’ve been stalking people, jumping from blog to blog just to find out what people have been doing to their lives. People that I’ve always wanted to be, people I will never be. Had lots of fun checking contact list from contact list, just to find out the names of two girls who have already left the job but I never had the chance to ask them things. And I’m not gonna do the dedications today because I have a very annoying colleague who keeps speeaking to subscribers in that sickly sweet voice. Ugh.

My March is gonna be so filled with so many events. I really missed it when my life was so busy and I was practically running place to place, planning event after event, attending meetings after meetings that I practically have no time to breathe in. I miss the times that I used to scold people because of their efficiency, or lack thereof. The times when I could still blog so thoughtfully/intellectually, when I can still read the posts and feel that ahh, there were times when I still reflected on my life. And I actually miss the times when I can rant and rant and rant over practically everything, being angry with every single one of the people in my life for no apparent reason. (I mean, I don’t exactly like it but it just gives me smth to talk about). Like for now, even if I’m angry or anything, it’ll just go away when I sleep it off. I’m hardly angry with anyone anymore. I’m more like annoyed with things that people do, or more of how they behave around me and others.

I mean, I’m still not perfect at ignoring the feelings I face when I feel left out – for example, Mandy’s birthday chalet thing. I was making a mountain out of a molehill. Just because I’m bored of someone to talk to, to argue with. 7 minutes more before I knock off:)

Days like these, I wanna drive away.

Hello once again! 🙂

I’m only left with er, 3 days of work? I can’t wait for the day that I don’t have to drag myself to work. Okay, fine, it’s not so serious. I don’t drag myself to work. I just dread the transportation to work even though it’s so near home that I can even walk. It’s like so troublesome. Take a bus here, cross a bridge and take another bus. And then I WALK.

I’m supposed to be calling and calling people, but here I am slacking and slacking. Heehee!:) But I’ve been calling and calling people that I’m so scared of the phone right now. My ear aches and turn red after every call:( Just spoke to my bosses! I might come back to SPH during my holidays and work!:)

Gonna do dedications for my favourite people in the next post. I can’t promise I’ll do for everyone, but I’ll try my bestest before the clock ticks to 8.30pm!:)

Skies are crying, I am watching.

Hello readers.

I’m so sorry for all the unkept promises of updating the blog the next day or smth because I’m always working and I can’t seem to multi task whilst I blog cos I’ll probably say the wrong things to the customer. I just realised that the readers I’m referring to, simply just refers to me. How’s that sound? Maybe I should get more people to know about my blog. Though wordpress simply wanna make me pay for basically whatever I wanna use – be it the font, or the space uploading the pictures – I will not fear. I’ll simply post without pictures then. Anyways, I don’t have pictures to post up for now. My life is currently surrounded by work.

I’m so glad to be able to say I FINALLY ACCEPTED MY PLACE IN RP! My parents were like ‘Its your choice’ so I decided to just go for it, and really excel in poly. Because I don’t wanna end up like how I’m left with hardly any choices in secondary school. But basically, it’s not like I know what I wanna do with life anyways. I think the singing career suits me the best. With all the glitz and glamour, but it isn’t that easy. Ahh, let’s just put aside such serious things in life like my future career. That can wait, for a teeny bit longer.

I think I’ll miss my current job at SPH a lot. I mean, although it is kinda boring saying the same lines to the same old annoying Singaporeans, I have way much more freedom than working out on the selling floor. I can snack, text, read and basically do almost anything I want so long as I’m on the phone talking to the subscribers. I can even sit down unlike my other previous jobs where my aching legs simply just tortured me. Maybe I’ll come back after my trip 🙂 My colleagues are a funny bunch of people, and I know I will miss them. But guess, all things still have to end.

My life would be pretty eventful after this week! On saturday, I’ll have a lot of appointments. Sunday, I’ll be working and going to my grandma’s place. On Monday, I would be having a BBQ with my favourite people. And on tuesday, I’ll be off to Phuket:) On the night I’m back, I’ll be going to stay over at GB HQ if possible! Because saturday, we have the Creative Cheerleading Competition which I’m helping. And on sunday, I  have an outing with the M&S staff! Then monday, I’ll be having recording sessions hopefully with Yu Hung! 🙂 I missed how busy my life was before, with so many trainings, and meet ups and what not. And then for a period of time, I was absolutely so bored – waiting for things to happen. But now things are gonna change because my parents have been so much less lenient in my outings, and meet up with friends. And school is going to start! I can’t wait for freshmen camp to start on the 5th, and for orientation camp from the 11th – 13th.

Knocking off from work in a bit. I’ll hopefully be able to update the things tmr morning! ❤

XOXO.

My Chance at Love,

Hey guys.

I finally found some time to blog but my dad’s probably waiting for me downstairs. Time to knock off from work and today, time seemed to pass really fast. First day that went by without me feeling hungry or full. I wasn’t even snacking cos I was sick. My colleagues are one bunch of funny people!:) Can you believe it? For this job, I’m gonna be working for three weeks and today’s the first day of the third week already. I’m gonna get paid again!! And my commission is pretty high, and I really cant wait. My basic pay would be about 700+ cos there’s about 100+ that has gone to my CPF. I’m so proud of myself. My first CPF contribution and this is my third job! Can’t wait for cash to start rolling in and for me to start dancing with it:)

And after this job attachment, I’ll be pretty busy because I’ll be going for a few GB events (Cheerleading, drill teaching at JLTC, briefing) and then to Phuket (with my family and friends), and then I’m off to BBQs, and dance lessons, and making of covers and shopping for poly stuff.

Read this on tumblr and I felt really inspired.

I had sushi and tea with my guys last night. We talked and just sharpened each other. I praise Him so much for giving me solid Brothers in Christ who can keep me accountable , who can build me and encourage me in my walk with Christ.

One of my brothers were dealing with the issue of pursuing Marriage, the other brother is dealing with pursuing a relationship with someone, while I’m dealing with the issue of, ‘How do I tell her that I’m not so interested or even ready to be in a relationship, in a way that I’m not hurting her feelings.’

I’m not gonna go into details of how our sharpening went down last night, But I will give a passage in 1Corinthians7 that really spoke to us.

Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

What Apostle Paul is saying is that being single is a GIFT and being married is another GIFT.  Being single means you are not married. There’s no such thing as, Gift of ‘going out’ you are either single or married. To endure singleness and to use it to the fullest by serving God with out the worries of being married is indeed a gift. To be married and raise a godly family and lead and love your wife same way Christ loved you is a gift.

In the midst of that, all of a sudden the Holy Spirit just gave me the answer through Scriptures on how to approach my ‘situation’ and what are my reasons of saying ‘I’m not interested.’ I realized I have so much on my plate. I’m going to school, I have a 30hrs/week job, I have a worship discipleship training, a worship internship to become a worship pastor etc.

and then it hit me. ‘God has specifically put me in this season and He has given me the gift of singleness.’

Doesn’t mean that I’m gonna be single forever, it just means, God’s utilizing this very season to help me grow as a Man, as a Leader and to know the joys of serving Him with an undivided attention.

So I decided that for this whole entire year, I’m giving up any idea of ‘possibility of pursuance’. Although I’ve been single for 5 years now, from time to time, I can’t help but say in my mind, ‘Maybe she could be a possibility’. Starting this March2012 all the way to next year March2013, I will make a covenant with God that not even a HINT of ‘maybe’ will not be existing. I will dedicate this season that I’m in just solely for growing and serving Him.

And then my brothers asked, ‘So what if over the course of this year, what If God brings someone in the midst of your season, and you both just have a total attraction for each other, but you made a covenant, now what?’

My reply was:

if ever that happens, I’ll simply just tell her – ‘I’m really interested in you, but I’m in this covenant with God and I’ve dedicated this year to serving and growing but if you feel like God’s called you to wait for me, and as pray and ask God’s wisdom, and you think I’m worth the wait, then wait for me. After the whole year is over, then we’ll talk. But for now, my focus is completely centered on God.

At the end of the day, ‘relationships’ can wait but the urgency to grow in Christ and to serve Him and to have a rock-solid relationship with Him is urgent and important.

In Christ,

Mark M.

I will continue posting tmr. Till then,

With love, faith.

This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take from me.

Hey readers!

Guess you have to get used to me not posting many photos up. I’m still not really used to using wordpress just yet, and hopefully I will in a couple of weeks time!:) I still love tumblr, cos the layouts are easier and the personalisation for most of the settings are up to me. But the bad thing is that the servers are always always down because of the over-capacity. I hope they’ll really do something about it soon or else more people are gonna leave tumblr.

And if you’re reading this, please don’t share the url out because I wanna keep it to as little people as possible. This is kind of my personal blog, but if you choose to, then so be it.

This is what I was typing yesterday night before I slept.

“It seems like there’s a long list of things you’re never gonna ever take away from me. Sure, I won’t let you do that but it doesn’t mean they won’t choose to run away themselves. What a statement.

Suddenly thought of so many useless things that make sense – how I (and others, as well) always want things I can’t have and will always want to be someone I’m not. For example of how much I want someone to lean on, but there’s never gonna be anyone there.”

This morning was a bad morning, or in fact, every morning whenever I’m forced to wake up so early. I utterly detest people who don’t practise what they preach, or they don’t set an example for others.