Whatever she had could have been mine. But I chose to give it up. Another fine example of me giving up another chance to perform out there again.
It might not have been a very big or influential audience. Nevertheless, it’s still people watching me. The spotlight on me. Everyone’s watching me being at how good I am at what I do.
Like I promised myself before, GRAB EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY THAT COME BY but yet I broke it myself.
Sometimes I really wonder what the hell I’ve been thinking. I feel like breaking down inside because it was my own choice to lead to the result it is again. The choice was in my hands.
I’m not upset, it’s more like anger towards myself. Feeling like Im so fucking stupid to give up whatever little I have.
I need to stop sitting here feeling like a loser because I’m not one.