Just a little note to you.

If you didn’t notice, I’m actually much happier with the friends I met in RP than my friends from secondary school. I’m not trying to make a comparison, but hell no, don’t tell me who I should make friends with.

It’s your own choice if you wish to put your guard and what not, or if you have no intention to make new friends in your RP life. It’s your own choice if you wish to hang out with your secondary school friends after school, but I don’t. It’s your own choice if you think your so-called friends in RP are bad influences, but my friends are not. It’s your own choice if you feel that you want to keep away from them, but DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Listen. It’s my choice to decide who I should hang out with, because I’m the one socialising with them. It’s my choice to decide what I want to do after school, because it’s my life and not yours.

Sometimes, you just need to let go off your beliefs and let new people in. Don’t just hang around people you’re so comfortable with all the time. Let your hair down, make new friends, increase your network. What’s the harm out of all this?

Nowadays, I find that it’s just a chore trying to keep up with what you want to talk about; it just feels like we’re on different levels, different paths right now.

Don’t treat me like a fool, because you, of all people, should know I know how to defend myself if anyone hurts me. 

Love.

Should I just sit back and wait for love to come and strike me before making a move back?

I’m tired of waiting, expecting and be disappointed that none of the things I ever wanted for myself would come true. I hate the feeling of feeling so unattractive, feeling like I’m worth absolutely no one’s attention, feeling like a loser all the time. I want someone who will be there for me, I want someone to shower me with love/attention, I want someone to make me feel like I’m appreciated for everything.

I have many eye-candies, but it’s only meant for viewing purposes. They are just unrealistic choices that I make for a prospective boyfriend. I can get all madly in love for that someone, but he doesn’t even notice. He doesn’t even know just looking at him is already enough.

I want to do things couple do; taking lots of pictures, going on lots of dates, doing all the things we’re passionate about but haven’t experience before together – travelling, dancing, learning a new language. I want someone who’ll wake up just to prepare me a morning breakfast, someone who’ll come all the way to fetch me even though it’s out of the way, someone who’ll fight just to have me. I want to bake for someone when it’s his birthday, to do cards for him to remind him he’s not alone in all he do, to go on berry picking and end up feeding each other what we picked. I want to take crazy pictures with him, do things with him, just spend time with someone whom I never thought existed in my entire life. It’s highly impossible, but I want to pretend it’ll happen. This would only happen in dramas and fairytales, but I just hope for once, a fairytale will unfold in my life and I play the lead in it.

It’s not wrong to dream a lil wilder, expect a lil more, love a lil fiercer, but now, it just feels like I’m hurt over and over again. Not because of anyone else, but myself. This is not called being desperate for a boyfriend, this is just trying to find another person who makes me his everything. I’m not the most attractive girl in the world, with the best personality. But at least, I’m true to myself and my beliefs, I stand up for what I support, and I support those who love me. I don’t want to become someone else for another being to love me, I want to be loved for being me. I want someone who loves my smiles and my frowns, someone who’ll become jealous when he feels insecure, someone who loves me just the way I am.

Maybe I just expect too much; and like what others say, maybe I should just wait and see what happens.

“Error flies from mouth to mouth, from pen to pen, and to destroy it takes ages” – Voltaire

We are very apt to believe anything that someone else tells us, even if we are not given sufficient information to back the statement up. In addition, we are very unlikely to verify the accuracy of what others tell us. We then pass on the information, as truth, believing we have just given someone else knowledge, which in fact is false. Before we know it, what started out as the false knowledge of one has become accepted as true knowledge by many. When dealing with the written word, the same phenomenon occurs, only this time to a greater extent. People more readily believe written sources as being true than spoken word. Many people accept as truth what they see published simply because they believe that it must have come from a credible source. They accept the validity of this knowledge without any investigation into the author’s credibility or knowledge on the subject.

Got this from a website, and I love the meaning!

Friend or foe?

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Hello readers!

I’m so glad that the weekend is here; many new changes to adapt to, new people to meet, new everything. It’s a week into poly life, and I’m glad with the effort I’ve been putting in. I’m proud to say that I put in my best for every single module that I’ve taken this week, so whatever the result, I already did my best.

Made a bunch of good friends through FOP, and I’m glad I went for it. To those who didn’t, you probably lost out. I’m glad I’m able to be who I want to be around them – no shield, no lies, no pretences. I feel it from my smiles, laughters, grins from the pictures.

I appreciate the little times we’ve been skypeing even though we’re in the same class, same building or even right next to each other. How I’m able to confide in them, and trusting that they won’t speak of it to anyone else. I love how we IM each other during classes – talking about the good and the bad things that’s been going on. I love how you guys appreciate for who I am, and who I want to be.

You know how encouraging it is when people cheer so loudly they lose their voice, just because I’m going on stage doing what I loved best. Even though I’m shaking with fear inside of me, I just want to do these people who’s cheering some justice. I never been appreciated more in my entire life. Guess what, we screwed up the performance in Jam&Hop, yet people came by not to blame me but thank me for going up and saying I did well. All these little gestures would never fail to make me smile, make me feel belonged even more.

All my life, as long as I started to open my mouth, people tell me to ‘Shut the hell up‘ or ‘You’re so fucking annoying. Stop singing, will you?‘. Or if I started dancing, people start to snigger or they’ll comment on how funny I look. Do you guys ever stopped to think that it would hurt my feelings or was I just another person you guys could make fun of?

But this bunch of friends, they don’t tell me to shut up or they don’t ignore me when I say something no matter how ridiculous it is. They don’t laugh at me when I dance, they join me and they say that I can really dance. They don’t call me fat, they call me ‘a little huge ball of energy’. But most of all, when I sing, they sing with me and they say genuinely encourage me to sing more. When I do recordings, they look forward to it. When I need someone to accompany me to attend dance open class, they’re here.

Maybe the people in my past reacted to me in that way because I had a certain attitude towards them. I don’t blame them, because I was really mean, bitchy. I’m a totally new person now – starting afresh, where everyone came from different pasts and no one minded who you were before, all they care is what you do right now and how you behave right now.

I just wanted to say that my purpose in writing this is not to push the friends I’ve made from my past (the clique, the council, the GB friends, the Choir friends, classmates) aside just because I have new friends. Whenever I whatsapp y’all, I feel like I don’t matter to you guys anymore. You don’t reply my texts, or else you just treat it like it’s another text message. Whenever I try to organise another outing/gathering, no one wants to respond. But the moment someone else try to organise something, you guys respond. How do you think I will feel about that? I’m only human you know.

I feel that just because we’re all in different schools, different schedules, different group of friends, don’t push away the ones you made before – people you spent more time with, people who knew you more than the ones know of you now. Because the moment you do that, you hurt someone else whom thought you bothered, or cared.

RJ – Introduction to Communication!

I feel that Adolf Hitler would be one example of a good communicator. Even though I do not agree with his action of the extermination of the Jews, I felt that one reason why he could still be so powerful and influential in the world at that time would be how he was able to communicate effectively, especially with his people of Germany.

Hitler was an excellent orator and an influential leader. For a politician to be successful in his political life, one had to gain the support of the people. Hitler was very successful in this point. He knew what the people wanted and he gave it to them. This would be demostrated through his policy: All things to all men A few examples would be how Hitler promised the rich people/farmers that if they voted for him, their want of controlling the Communists would be fulfilled so that there will not be rebellions happening in their farms, which would result in the loss of manpower and in turn, cause a loss in earnings. He also promised the people of Germany that he would abolish the harsh terms in the Treaty of Versailles. He understood that with the terms of the TOV in place, Germany would suffer a loss of national pride and he knew what the people wanted – for them to regain their national pride. He also gave the people someone to blame for all the problems, and thus he made the Jews a common enemy. This showed that he made used of giving them a common identity which was critical in making him an effective leader. From the examples we know that he focused on a few groups of people and gave them what they wanted – he knew who were his target groups were, he
knew what his audience wanted.

I feel that what Hitler has done would relate very closely to what we have learnt today in class. I can identify that Hitler identify what the different groups of people wanted, he knew where they differed in terms of maturity level, age, and most importantly in this context, the expectations they wanted. One characteristic that helped him would be how he was very charismatic – he knew how to engage his audience. I also know that communication takes place in a context, and it is evident when it shows how Hitler differ when he speak to different crowds of people. In this case, it would also be the case of public communication.

God knows we’re hurting

Don’t know why I just can’t sleep. Seems like I have too many things in my mind, and my head won’t go to rest until it has gotten everything from my heart out.

So let’s see. When I obviously have so many things in my life that are worth to be sad for, I chose to push it away and focus on things that make me happy.

Things that make me happy

  • When I see myself motivated to complete the worksheet
  • When I receive good comments from facilitators
  • When people appreciate my voice
  • When I’m with my favourite people – Dani & Sarah
  • When I’m camwhoring
  • When I’m finally home after all the travelling

Things that make me sad/angry:

  • Having classmates who don’t do their share of work
  • Having facilitators who don’t do the things they’re s’pposed to do but pick on the students instead
  • When I get hungry and cranky
  • When I can’t sleep when I’m supposed to
  • When people don’t reply my texts
  • When people take me for granted
  • When I have a sore throat and I can’t sing
  • When I’m late for something
  • When old friends forget about me
  • When someone else becomes more important than me

Here are some of the things in a list that I’ve  created:) I feel like a whiny child when I do the last list, but it does help to get things out.

The  fact/thought of meeting up with fellow team seven friends just hanging out, or doing our RJs together always make me look forward to going to school. I don’t have much interaction with my classmates; some might think I’m too loud, some might think I’m too outspoken or attention-seeking but hey, who cares? As long as I don’t overdo it, I don’t think anyone has the right to bother with who I wanna be. I love hanging out with my favourite people after school because we’ll talk of the day’s happenings and updates about guys!;)

Do you know how frustrating it is; to want to be the best, putting your best yet not attaining the results that you want. Sometimes I wonder if all the effort I put in will ever be seen by the facilitator; they might think its just for show, but all I want to prove is that I’m hardworking and determined to get the top marks for my modules. I’m not trying to be a show off-er, a bossy person but all I am is a student who just wants the best for herself.

Marketing <3

I think Marketing is off for a good start. It’s really really thought-provoking as compared to other modules I’m taking right now:) I love how we question and how marketing works outside in the actual market, I guess I’m gonna be looking forward to Marketing lessons. The first impression that it gave me was that it was really boring, all theory-based and lots of ideas we need to come up with. But I think it’ll be good:)

Got to rush the PDT, PPT and worksheet. I’m actually really excited to update this post, but there’s time constraints! ❤

Just gonna stand there and watch you burn.

Math class was thought-provoking today. It made me question about why I use a certain method in solving the questions and why we actually use what formulas we actually use to do our questions. Here’s an example.

Q: Looking at your equation in Q3, there is a certain sequence of the operations that affect the final answer. If so, which operations should come first and which can be performed later? You may like to come up with an example to show how this sequence affects the final answer.

The certain sequence of operations would be using the acronym BODMAS, which would be brackets, operations, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction. It would be in the following order in the acronym.

The example would be:

    • (2 + 5) x 6
    • 2 + 5 x 6

Mathematics is no longer the usual thing of equations, formulas and symbols any more. We used to answer Math questions via pen and paper, and we used to complain about such things. We used to be able to do Math without typing it in the computer; we didn’t bother about out handwriting, we didn’t care that our teachers have to read it. Now I really understand why the teacher takes time to come up with worksheets; the fact that they have to use the computer to prepare the worksheets for us is already an ordeal itself. We always thought writing and practising the equations by hand is tedious but once you start having to type it out, it’s so annoyingly annoying. That’s a change from what we’ve been doing.

I love this two people: Sarah Jane and Dani:) I’m so glad to have met them from FOP because they’re always here for me!:) Shall update tomorrow!

xoxo

Breakeven

Isn’t it amazing there’s so many people can sing out there? I really love how there’s so many people who can sing, and I’m so glad to be able to be one of them. I just joined a competition and I hope I’ll win:) Then I’ll be able to perform the opening act of the Youtube stars:)

Problem-based Learning

Hey readers:)

Today is the first official school day in RP. It’s the first day I start my first module in RP, the first day for so many things new. It’s a totally different feeling having to know only your OGLs and your freshmen mates, and a different feeling of meeting your old seniors (people who really hate you) and you feel so awkward around school with them whispering. Today is also the first day of problem-based learning – a really new approach than what I’m used to in MOE 10 year education pedagogy.

It’s really different from what I am used to, and I have to adapt to it. I don’t know how long I’ll take to adapt, but I hope it’ll be soon I’ll adapt or else my grades will suffer. There are pros and cons of using the Internet and the laptop of doing your schoolwork + notes, but I just wanna say I miss using the pen and paper.

Done with the first day of school, and it’s really a different change from everything I’ve been so used to for the past ten years. Every year since I was primary one, all we ever did was to sit there and listen to the teachers go on about the day’s learning, then we’ll have to complete some class work, then she’ll assign homework which is due the very next day. Sometimes we’ll have class tests, sometimes we’ll have mental sums, and twice a year we’ll have semestral exams.

But now we have daily problems (and their one heck of a problem), presentations to do every single day at the third meeting, and RJs, quiz, self and peer evaluations every single day and every single one of them contribute to my daily grade, which in turn will contribute to my module grade, which in the end will contribute to my GPA.

I’m really behaving like a nerd, who goes around doing notes and rushing to the presentations even if my group mates are not focused. I try to do my best, but it seems like my best isn’t enough. This is worse than secondary school where CA marks mattered, but now even attendance and everything you do is graded.

All I want to do now is really put in the very best I have, and that God will do the rest.

REPUBLIC REPUBLIC, ONE TEAM, ONE TEAM!

HULLO readers!

Anyone wondering why I didn’t post for the past few days? Well, I was at RP for my Freshmen Orientation Programme (FOP) and it was hella fun. I wouldn’t want to go into the details because there’s too much to say, yet too little time. It would be memories for me, and those whom I got closer to throughout the three days.

I swear, travelling is really a bitch. I take about 40 mins to go to school and an hour to go home. And I would have been really tired out by the events during the day and when it’s time to go back, I’ll be dead tired.

I just wanna say: I never regretted being in RP. I guess it’s one of the best decisions I made in my life, especially to have chosen DIEM. People in SOH are fun-loving, awesome, passionate! They really made me see that RP is just like any other polytechnic.

It’s gonna be a new life – fun filled with lots of friends, awesome seniors, talented interest groups! A whole new start where people truly accepted you for who you are, not who you pretend to be!:)

Will post more with pictures another time. Right now, I just wanna sit at a cozy corner, watching the happenings around me.

Sometimes you’ll need to take a step back from everything else happening – pleasant or unpleasant – and just watch things that are going on. Reflect and see things from a more positive life. It makes life easier like that.

xoxo

Just get yourself back home

Hey y’all:)

Just a quick post; life’s been great! Out with my families during the weekend, SC Investiture on Monday, shopping with the girls today, from tomorrow onwards a new life awaits:)

Orientation Camp starts tomorrow; I’ll be going with mixed feelings. I never liked being a freshmen, it always make me feel out of place and small, but I’m pretty sure I’ll adapt to school life. Yes, I do miss secondary school but I’ll be brave and take the first step (always the hardest, but once you’re over with it, things get smoother.)

I’ve set myself a GOAL: To do everything to the best I can:) I’m not going to let the same scenario in secondary school ruin the rest of my life. This is still one more step I can change!:)

Hope the weather will stay fine today – not too hot, not too cold, just cloudy and right!:) Will update more when I get the time! xoxo

Do you feel like no matter what you do, you’ll never be able to please your parents?

Because I feel that way. Yes, I understand that all parents have high expectations. They’ll definitely have that for their child. Which parent wouldn’t want their kid to be multi-talented, coming out top in school, winning competitions? But it’s easier said than done.

I don’t know what’s it like to have to be the ideal parent. To be there for the kid, but also wanting things to get done as well. Sometimes, things doesn’t go two way.

Let’s talk about something else because I’m not in that topic for now.

Went for a recording session yesterday but I must say its not the best I’ve done. It really sounded bad and that’s after so many takes. Maybe it’s because I’m sick but still, it sounded bad.

Sometimes I need to tell myself Im not the only one in this world who can sing. So I wont get conceited.

It serves as a constant reminder. xoxo

Deja Vu?

I don’t know how you’d feel when you’re not chosen for something while all your friends are, or when someone of a lower level are chosen over you. Do you feel incompetent? Or maybe useless? Is unworthy the word to use? That kinda summarises the feelings I felt when I faced the so called ‘office politics’ when I was both in the student council and the girls’ brigade.

Was just looking at twitter and I find that there are cycles in every generation which repeat even though many things change.

Now it’s the time for the choosing/grooming of the next generation of leaders, many people will be competing for the different roles in the cca. Inevitably, some are in, some are out. This then makes me feel like every single aspect of your life – academics, friendship, influence, relationships – matter even more so. If the teachers feel that you can’t cope with any one of it, then you’ll fall short.

You’ll also find that some people change when it’s time for them to receive their so called authority/power. You find that friends you once knew so much start to change, you kinda feel you don’t recognise them anymore. So what can you do?

1. Nothing or 2. You adapt. Whichever is harder, I don’t know. But for me, I sure as well will not sit my ass there and watch things happen.

Things to do?

Hello guys!

I’m at the midst of watching Glee Season 1 but I only have the first ten episodes:) So I have a list of things to do to complete by today so I’m gonna list it here:)

  • Finish Glee Season 1 Episode 10
  • Bathe + Blowdry my hair
  • Paint my toenails
  • Decide what to wear for tmr’s freshmen camp + outing
  • Pack my table + drawer (it’s in a mess)
  • Finish Amath Chapter 4, 14 and 15. (including miscellaneous exercise)
  • Download movies.
  • Complete wishlist
  • Blog.

I guess that’s about it:)

Call me maybe?

Hello readers!

Guess I’m going to be sticking to WordPress for a long long time:) Starting to love the current theme I’m using! I’m updating my wishlist, so y’all can take a look:) Heehee!:)

Yesterday was GM’s Thanksgiving so I went back to check out how things have ben changing, how the teachers are going and meeting up with some of the people from my cohort was the best thing that happened yesterday. Alson, Chang and me went for lunch but I didn’t have anything and we all split up to do our errands and we’re planning to meet up so very soon!  xx

I don’t know why I decided to post something today but I’m just being random:) xoxo