God knows we’re hurting

Don’t know why I just can’t sleep. Seems like I have too many things in my mind, and my head won’t go to rest until it has gotten everything from my heart out.

So let’s see. When I obviously have so many things in my life that are worth to be sad for, I chose to push it away and focus on things that make me happy.

Things that make me happy

  • When I see myself motivated to complete the worksheet
  • When I receive good comments from facilitators
  • When people appreciate my voice
  • When I’m with my favourite people – Dani & Sarah
  • When I’m camwhoring
  • When I’m finally home after all the travelling

Things that make me sad/angry:

  • Having classmates who don’t do their share of work
  • Having facilitators who don’t do the things they’re s’pposed to do but pick on the students instead
  • When I get hungry and cranky
  • When I can’t sleep when I’m supposed to
  • When people don’t reply my texts
  • When people take me for granted
  • When I have a sore throat and I can’t sing
  • When I’m late for something
  • When old friends forget about me
  • When someone else becomes more important than me

Here are some of the things in a list that I’ve  created:) I feel like a whiny child when I do the last list, but it does help to get things out.

The  fact/thought of meeting up with fellow team seven friends just hanging out, or doing our RJs together always make me look forward to going to school. I don’t have much interaction with my classmates; some might think I’m too loud, some might think I’m too outspoken or attention-seeking but hey, who cares? As long as I don’t overdo it, I don’t think anyone has the right to bother with who I wanna be. I love hanging out with my favourite people after school because we’ll talk of the day’s happenings and updates about guys!;)

Do you know how frustrating it is; to want to be the best, putting your best yet not attaining the results that you want. Sometimes I wonder if all the effort I put in will ever be seen by the facilitator; they might think its just for show, but all I want to prove is that I’m hardworking and determined to get the top marks for my modules. I’m not trying to be a show off-er, a bossy person but all I am is a student who just wants the best for herself.

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