Everything’s gonna be alright.

‘Throw your sticks and stones, throw your bombs and your blows. But you’re not going to break my soul’

Let the criticisms come because it’s what improves you as a person. Theres two ways you can look at it – negatively or positively. Cry and get it over with. Come out stronger. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

That was what I told Farah and Qistina when I was on the way home after the full run for NDOC. It kinda got everyone down but I think it seems to have gotten better today. Guess yesterday’s been a really long Friday. Didn’t go to school because I’ve been accompanying my grandma who was in the hospital. She’s finally discharged so at least I don’t have to run to so many places anymore.

Headed to school for NDOC preview/sound check/full run and I felt it was pretty much screwed. Before we even ended, Zaini went on about how bad and unacceptable the performance was. I didn’t know how to react, it’s like I tried my best to interpret how I should be on stage but I really have no idea. I broke down right after his comment, and I felt so stupid to have done so. I kinda agreed with what he said, but I just didn’t know how to do it. I’m a failure as a performer. Whatever it is, it’s over. I need to practise what I have ‘preached’ to Farah and Qis, so I’m going to take in whatever help I can get from Zai and Vic. I’m going to prove Zaini wrong.

I’m still in the stage where I’m learning how to get better as a performer. I have a direction of what I want to do, I just need the time to accomplish it. Every internals, I aim to take one of my flaws from vocals and performance down. It’s not going to be easy but the process and the end result will be so fulfilling.



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