Today’s been a busy day. Was so tired yesterday that immediately after watching The X Factor, I went to sleep. I had to wake up early for dance with Zaini for Makanplace at 10AM. I met Renu at CWP Macs at 930am and upon finishing b’fast, we headed to school with Hafiz.
Dance was slightly better than usual cuz it was the opening but since I’m doing the guy part which I’m still unsure of, Zaini asked me to internalise it which I plan to do before the next rehearsal on Monday. One thing he said during rehearsal really impacted me. We were asked to do the opening dance alone (less people we can follow) and it was kinda awkward cuz I had to interact with random people. Then he asked me, ‘Faith, can I ask you a personal question?’ And I mean I can’t say no, so I nodded. ‘What do you see yourself doing in ten years?’ I didn’t want to answer. I was scared everyone would judge me. ‘Do you see yourself performing?’ And it was the very thing that I literally live for. I nodded. ‘Do you like performing? Do you want to do it?’ And of course there was only one answer, I said yes. ‘Faith you have a great voice. You have one of the greatest voice that I have ever heard. But there’s smth you’re holding back, smth inside you. I don’t see you enjoying the dance, you seem so caught up with the steps. You can go very far.’ Smth along that line. I was like ‘Wow I didn’t know that’s what he thought of me’ I mean I always thought I was a nobody in his eyes. Like just some other person who can sing. But not to that extent.
I’m not going to be going all almighty or haughty because it will change me as a person. It will make me proud and really not humble. I must remember that no matter how famous I become, I must always remember my roots and who helped me throughout this journey. I mean I must always thank the people who’s make me, me. I don’t want to see myself as famous but unlikable. Like a superstar that everyone who’s backstage hates. I want to be someone that everyone inspires to be.
Also, I think one thing I learn throughout the years is to learn to take criticism and learn from there. It’s important to hear what others think of you and not be delusional about who you think you are. If many people say that you have a certain flaw you might consider to take out when you perform, you should work on it. But not go all defensive and give reasons for everything you do. No matter how good you are, there is always going to be someone better. It’s great to have confidence but NEVER be over-confident.
One last thing I learnt from Atiqah today. Don’t change yourself or don’t try too hard to fit in. If you don’t fit in somewhere, it means you’re different. It might not be necessarily a bad difference but that you’re special to stand alone. Why be a follower when you can be a leader? That I shouldn’t get too affected that people don’t want me with them. Also I shouldn’t worry if people hates me or not. As long as I don’t do bad things or that I’m overly proud and things along that line. It’s normal to have people who hate you cuz if you’re popular and no one hates you, it’s kinda weird. And if people hate you, it means that there’s smth about you that people envy.