Desire

I’m just willing myself not to cry.

I don’t understand why people tell me to shut up singing the musical songs after it’s over. Does it mean that if I’m dead, people won’t talk about me anymore? Does it mean that once I’m dead, I’m treated like I never/I didn’t even existed anymore? So what if it’s my first production, I don’t know. Is this what everyone calls passion? So if I’ve performed a certain song, I stop singing it forever?

I think I’m just feeling a little sentimental. Feeling what I call, the PMS (Post-Musical Syndrome). I don’t know. Five months is quite a lot of time to spend on a production. Spending almost every single day either singing or dancing or acting. We endure scoldings from Zaini together, listening to Jeffrey changing his direction every single rehearsal and Irene going through the songs all over again and again. It’s not just cause the musical is over, then life moves on. I don’t know. I can’t seem to just snap back like y’all back to life just because the musical is over. I lived, I breathed that song. Every single day I had to rehearse my parts. And yet, people expect me to snap out of it.

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One thought on “Desire

  1. Love, everyone expects you to do something you don’t want to do. It’s life. What matters is how you handle it. Do you adhere to people’s vision of you, or do you forge your own path? It’s your life, darling, live it like it’s yours.

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