I Will Be Happy When

Thought Catalog

Every day I wake up and look over the handwritten To Do list I make for myself the night before because I only half trust technology to remind me and I definitely do not trust myself to remember. I begin the day with: when I finish these things, I’ll be okay.

I enjoy doing quick, mindless work. It’s a lovely mental break from writing, and I can go faster and faster, slashing through photography feeds and placing links and tagging categories and emailing a “thank you” and pressing “publish.” I can maintain and accelerate control toward being finished.

Sometimes I see something that I decide I need, really for no other purpose than a hypothetical I make up in my mind. What if I end up taking a trip upstate for the holidays, and I don’t have this or that thing that I will definitely need for that trip? And…

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