so guys… something hit me this morning (no it’s nothing huge or whatever) but i just realized one of the reasons why i stopped writing – i never ever get past the damn title. i always get stumped at the title field after i click ‘new post’ and then i kill brain cells trying to think of a title but eventually i just give up altogether. ok so i decided to try this new title ‘faithsmusings’ so hopefully it’ll stay and motivate me to write a little more. was contemplating whether i wanted to stick with ‘a penny for my thoughts?’ then i’m like ‘who are you to kid? no one’s gna give you anything for writing lol’
i honestly don’t know what i’m doing on this page right now because c’mon, who reads my blog right? feels as if i’m always talking to myself when i blog (it’s like i would read my old posts then i’ll just go “i can’t believe i did that” *searches for rock to hide under*) but i guess people have been telling me to write out my feelings and my thoughts because it would help so hi.
so… if you are my close friend or if you follow me on my (private) social media, you would know that i was pretty much a wreck for the past 2 weeks. looking back, i’m actually (really) ashamed at some of the things i did throughout the past few weeks (i was such a joke to so many people) and honestly, i don’t know how these people tolerated me but hey if you’re reading this, i just wanted to say thank you. 🙂
people who haven’t spoken to me thinks that i’m feeling this way because of my recent break up but let me just clarify it once and for all: it was one of the reasons but not entirely. things have been pretty rough for the past 2 – 3 months at least and the break up was the final straw (now you’re wondering faith was attached meh blah blah you just go stalk ok).
i’m not gonna lie – the break up made me really sad and down but the first thing to do to recover would be realization. i don’t wanna divulge because this is something really personal and close to me but if there’s anything you should know, i’m coping. of course it’ll sting and of course like the boys say: ‘the first cut is the deepest’ – if so many people recovered from it, then why not me?
i’ve learnt many lessons from this phase of my life and some of them are really hard ones but i’m determined to leave this phase and close this chapter in my book… and for me, i’ve chosen to leave. plans are underway (can’t say i’m not afraid) but it’s time to be a big girl about this and move on. maybe you won’t understand it now but in time to come, you’ll put the pieces together. i’m just gonna apologize if i didn’t say bye – goodbyes are hard for me.
if there’s anything you should take away from my posts, just remember these two things that i learnt and am living by:
1) be kind to everyone you meet and know. or even better, if you could have a kind word or a word of encouragement to one person a day, it’ll mean a lot to them. you just never know how much it might help them through the day, really.
2) see the good in people. at that moment, they might have done something to hurt you or spite you or say mean things about you, remember the good things they have done for you. it might really be difficult to do so when they make you feel the negative emotions that really made you sad or angry, just believe that they are good. it makes the world easier to live in.