Uninteresting Caption I

I think one thing that really gets to me from blogging would be the pain of having to come up with amazing captions that draw people. I honestly don’t know how some people can come up with interesting captions with a snap of my finger. On another note, the last post was filled with so much anger & rants that I wrote at 2AM in the morning (which I still think it’s justified) except for the fact no one prolly can read it since I locked with a password I don’t know myself.

So… I’ve been busy with rehearsals for President’s Star Charity 2013 but honestly I don’t feel like I’ve been doing much, considering that the item we’re doing is really against my principle (as in, not the song itself) but I think it’s inappropriate to talk about it here (these are things I can only keep to myself sigh) but I really hate hate hate what I’m being forced to do. I don’t feel as motivated for this show but I will still put in my best. In any case, I still had fun – meeting up with one of my fav group of people. Really missed the times we spent tgt every single day for fitting, for rehearsals, for vocal training, for dance, for radio interview, for press conferences. I missed the boot camp but when I finally find the time, I might compile them into a blog entry.

IMG_1995Our very first rehearsal for the show | Credits to Rozz for the photo 🙂

IMG_1996

My messy hair & the gang with our amazing vocal coach (whom I also found out to be a really amazing photographer), Hazrul

IMG_2150Taken during rehearsals on set this afternoon | Credits to Ashley for the amazing angle 🙂

Realized my blog has been too much words & too little photos (hahaha) and I’ve finally found the time to compile those photos from the phone so yes, look out for more photos that were long overdued. I’ve also a post set aside for the gig I did at Ocean Financial Centre which will also be on my other blog – http://faithjiaen.blogspot.sg – which I started when I was in The Final 1. My ladies from Replug did the banners for those & they’re so preetz, which was why I couldn’t bear to close the blog down even tho I was out of the competition.

And I was told I’m Replug’s REFLECTIONS show’s SM (which stands for stage manager) which is a pretty huge role, considering the amount of pressure I actually face right now. I’m literally cramming my head & crossing my fingers I won’t ruin the show. Just completed the bump in & in the midst of sorting my stage cues… Full dress rehearsals for PSC tmr – which means I get all dolled up – which means I should head to bed soon. School’s starting but that’s for another day.

That’s all I have for now but if you find yourself missing me, check out my Facebook page (http://facebook.com/faithjiaen), my Twitter (http://twitter.com/faithjiaen), my Instagram (http://instagram.com/faithjiaen) or drop me some interesting questions on my Ask.fm (http://ask.fm/faithjiaen) I hope I have time to update those sites as well 😉 Ciao! xx

Aspirations.

Always felt like I have the urge to blog then losing it over and over again. I have so many drafts; I feel like I have so many things to say but I don’t know where to start. I don’t want to blog just because I just want to fill the space up, but I want to blog meaningful posts during milestones in my life. Or when I have thoughts in my head that I want it to be heard but no one will listen to them.

I used to care what people think about me. Like a lot. I mean, I still do. That will be a part of me that will be hard to fully get rid of. I always used to do things because it will mean that I will please/fit in with friends or maybe what I call ‘friends’. I used to be insecure about myself (I probably still am) but it’s definitely a lot lesser. I learnt to love myself more, to do things because I want to but not because someone else wants me to. That shouldn’t have been the way I led my life. It’s my life after all. Not anyone else’s.

It’s not just about superficial insecurity. Like being afraid of dressing the way you are. I mean, that will definitely be sticking around for a long long time. I don’t exactly have the perfect figure – I probably am leaning to the slightly overweight side. I don’t have the nicest feature – my hair is probably the worst created. It’s not about wearing the most fashionable clothes or having the best make up, because after all, it’s only superficial. What I am referring to is about being insecure about who you are inside. I know everyone has those issues. I’m pretty sure everyone faces them but I don’t want to be insecure about how I am inside. I know what I am made of, I know who I want to be and that should be the most important thing. I should not be influenced by people who says that ‘Maybe you should do this’ or ‘Maybe you should do that’. I feel that the things I am doing because I want to do it. I’m already a grown up. The things that I am doing should be because I want to, not because someone forced me to.

I was just watching Glee and wondering who I am similar to in there. Not just about the talent or the things I can do, but the character inside of them and inside of me. It is not lame that I am using that to compare myself and my life because I am somehow still confused about whom I want to be. I know I want to be a singer, a performer but so many times I have been stopped and was told that I am not good enough. I have always thought that I would be like Rachel Berry. People always always tell me that I am so similar to her as well. But it’s not just about how she behaves – how annoying she used to be, how pushy or stuck up she seems to be. I feel like both of us have like the same (I just cannot emphasise how much!) character, but I am not as extreme as her. But I literally aspire to be as extreme as her. It’s just how she is so motivated ALL the time despite her setbacks. She has always known what she wants to do and she works towards it no matter what it takes. Whenever she sings, I get the shivers. She has the soul, the passion. Everything that a singer would want.

“You have a nice voice.” 
“I wished I could sing like you.”
People always tell me things like that. But I don’t believe it. I don’t find myself being extremely happy about it because I doubt myself. I doubt what I can do. Y’know it didn’t start from young? I wasn’t born to be a singer. I couldn’t sing before. To be honest, I didn’t used to be able to hit notes or pitch perfectly. I couldn’t even make it into choir in primary school. Anyone who knew me then always wanted to throw sticks and stones (they still do now, but for a totally different reason) because I just sucked at it so bad. But God is great. It’s just a miracle how I started getting better and found different sides to my voice and now here I am. It’s not exactly great; every single minute I aspire to be someone even better but it’s not easy.

But I still don’t find that I have the voice that will stick out (in a good way) or that it’s special on its very own. There’s so many things that I lack but I know I want to do this. I love the stage. I love that the fact that I have people who will be doing things for me, like I am treated like a princess. I love that I am in the light of all the attention, the care. I love that single spotlight on me when I sing, when everyone’s attention is on no one, but me. Yes, it can be scary when you think about it but I love leaving the stage, feeling like I have it all.

It’s just so difficult for me because I know I am not pretty enough or I am not as strong a vocalist as so many other people out there. It’s just so amazing how some people are just so good and you’re left there, wondering how sad your life is. It’s a hard world and I don’t know where to start being better than anyone there.

But I know who I want to be. I won’t let anyone say I can’t do otherwise.

x

Desire

I’m just willing myself not to cry.

I don’t understand why people tell me to shut up singing the musical songs after it’s over. Does it mean that if I’m dead, people won’t talk about me anymore? Does it mean that once I’m dead, I’m treated like I never/I didn’t even existed anymore? So what if it’s my first production, I don’t know. Is this what everyone calls passion? So if I’ve performed a certain song, I stop singing it forever?

I think I’m just feeling a little sentimental. Feeling what I call, the PMS (Post-Musical Syndrome). I don’t know. Five months is quite a lot of time to spend on a production. Spending almost every single day either singing or dancing or acting. We endure scoldings from Zaini together, listening to Jeffrey changing his direction every single rehearsal and Irene going through the songs all over again and again. It’s not just cause the musical is over, then life moves on. I don’t know. I can’t seem to just snap back like y’all back to life just because the musical is over. I lived, I breathed that song. Every single day I had to rehearse my parts. And yet, people expect me to snap out of it.

Wise men say only fools rush in.

Today’s been a busy day. Was so tired yesterday that immediately after watching The X Factor, I went to sleep. I had to wake up early for dance with Zaini for Makanplace at 10AM. I met Renu at CWP Macs at 930am and upon finishing b’fast, we headed to school with Hafiz.

Dance was slightly better than usual cuz it was the opening but since I’m doing the guy part which I’m still unsure of, Zaini asked me to internalise it which I plan to do before the next rehearsal on Monday. One thing he said during rehearsal really impacted me. We were asked to do the opening dance alone (less people we can follow) and it was kinda awkward cuz I had to interact with random people. Then he asked me, ‘Faith, can I ask you a personal question?’ And I mean I can’t say no, so I nodded. ‘What do you see yourself doing in ten years?’ I didn’t want to answer. I was scared everyone would judge me. ‘Do you see yourself performing?’ And it was the very thing that I literally live for. I nodded. ‘Do you like performing? Do you want to do it?’ And of course there was only one answer, I said yes. ‘Faith you have a great voice. You have one of the greatest voice that I have ever heard. But there’s smth you’re holding back, smth inside you. I don’t see you enjoying the dance, you seem so caught up with the steps. You can go very far.’ Smth along that line. I was like ‘Wow I didn’t know that’s what he thought of me’ I mean I always thought I was a nobody in his eyes. Like just some other person who can sing. But not to that extent.

I’m not going to be going all almighty or haughty because it will change me as a person. It will make me proud and really not humble. I must remember that no matter how famous I become, I must always remember my roots and who helped me throughout this journey. I mean I must always thank the people who’s make me, me. I don’t want to see myself as famous but unlikable. Like a superstar that everyone who’s backstage hates. I want to be someone that everyone inspires to be.

Also, I think one thing I learn throughout the years is to learn to take criticism and learn from there. It’s important to hear what others think of you and not be delusional about who you think you are. If many people say that you have a certain flaw you might consider to take out when you perform, you should work on it. But not go all defensive and give reasons for everything you do. No matter how good you are, there is always going to be someone better. It’s great to have confidence but NEVER be over-confident.

One last thing I learnt from Atiqah today. Don’t change yourself or don’t try too hard to fit in. If you don’t fit in somewhere, it means you’re different. It might not be necessarily a bad difference but that you’re special to stand alone. Why be a follower when you can be a leader? That I shouldn’t get too affected that people don’t want me with them. Also I shouldn’t worry if people hates me or not. As long as I don’t do bad things or that I’m overly proud and things along that line. It’s normal to have people who hate you cuz if you’re popular and no one hates you, it’s kinda weird. And if people hate you, it means that there’s smth about you that people envy.

Visuals.

Been really caught up with different things in life. Shall let the pictures do the talking:’)

RP NDOC 2012

My first performance in RP

Band practice for Wavehouse

Presenting you, Class of AY 2012/13 Semester 1

Jerald & Nicholas

CJ and I

Minyi & I

Sufie & I

Haziq & I

The ladies

Cheryl & I

Treats from Sarah.

Our photographer at work.

Bulletproof.

Had a meeting with le Zaini on Tuesday after NDOC and it was well, motivational. For me, at least.

Let’s talk about NDOC. I’ve only got one thing to say. It was fantabulous! I was still nervous (like duh) but I totally got outta it and tried connecting with the audience. I looked stupid but I think I managed to connect with the audience. My band was really great and I’m truly honoured to be able to perform with them. It wasn’t supposed to be my time to perform but I thank the seniors for giving me the chance:)

I think the thing I really took out from this would be the things I’ve learnt during the time I got stressed – stage presence. No matter how shy I was to break out from that shell to talk to the audience, I did it. It’s a step towards being a better performer. It might not have been the best but it’s a milestone for me:) I constantly remind myself that every single time I perform, be it for internals or other performances, I am going to take down one flaw from my performance. It will not be perfect, it’ll never be perfect but it’ll be one of the best I’ve ever done and will ever do.

Zaini came to talk to replug about some issues and I also questioned myself about it. It brought me back to the times where I was in council and GB and we had to brainstorm about so many things; which direction we want to go, how are we going to do that. It looks simple but it requires so much thought put into it. I really admire those who really think about where the organisation should go and the like. And, I kinda took up a role in Replug, unofficial but I think I want to try that. I have Shafiq’s and Hafidz’s promise to help me with it:)

With power comes great responsibility

xo

One of the best RJ I’ve written.

I have always wanted to write a song, an idea I’ve always longed to complete. It may seem simple, just putting words together. But it’s more than that, a lot more than that. Song writing has many purposes, but all requires a message that we want to bring across. It’s a method to dig deeper to the thoughts that’s going through my mind, the feelings and expressions that I wish to convey to others.

I can try to implement the strategy of ‘examining by analogy’ when I wish to speak of a message subtly to my audience. Like the example in the worksheet, we can quote from Shakespeare “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances.” where Shakespeare brings us a message that the life we are living in is merely a performance, everyone have their time to come and go. But by using analogy, it makes people give more thought to what we are trying to say rather than to tell them the message directly.

Also, I can try to use the strategy of ‘examining by knowing the history of an idea’. This is useful when I want to write about a song with a certain message like peace, love, justice – topics that are of social concern. For example, love can have different meanings – for example, love can be having intimate feelings for someone of the opposite sex, love can also mean brotherly or sisterly love between people generally, love can be the love for people who are suffering in that time, in time of war. The song ‘Where is the love?’ was questioning the world peace during the war, questioning why is there a war even though everyone seems to be of equal.

These strategies would be helpful when I’m trying to bring a message across without doing it so directly, allowing the target audience have some food for thought about what I’m trying to convey.

My RJ for Cognitive Process and Problem Solving Problem 06. One of the best RJs I feel that I have written. Maybe this was smth I always wanted to talk about, but I couldn’t think of a proper title to express it. Deon mentioned it, and I realised it was plausible. Thus, the piece. xo

I’m a REPLUGIO

What am I s’pposed to do when the best part of me is always you? What am I s’pposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re okay yea? I’m falling to pieces, yea.

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Although I’m s’pposed to head down to school for some music theory lesson kinda thing, I’m quite lazy to move seeing that I live in the east and my school’s in Woodlands. And I’ll be the only vocalist there while the rest are musicians. I feel so out-of-place. Le sigh.

Just ended Replug camp last week, and to be honest, I really miss it. It’s the best camp I’ve ever been to, and I don’t have times that I’m falling asleep because of talks, boring games or meaningless programmes. I saw another side to the people, which are really different from the first impressions that I had of them. And ever since I’ve been in the Members Only group, I’m enjoying the statuses they post up there. I’m finally able to say that: ‘I’M PROUD TO BE A REPLUGIO’

xoxo

Don’t you realised I decided to push you out from my life? Don’t you realised I’m good at doing that? I don’t need someone like you in my life; I need someone there for me no matter what. I don’t want you as a bf, but I don’t even want you as a friend even more. You just proved to me you’re not what I expected you to be anyway. In any case, I’m glad to be rid of you.

Quick updates!

What I’ve been doing since holidays started:

  • 28th May: The Makan Place Callbacks
  • 29th May: Replug Vocal Training + Rhapsody Practice
  • 30th May – 1st June: Replug Camp

Things to look forward to:

  • USS trip with Mandy and Sheryl
  • Rhapsody Camp
  • The Makan Place practice sessions

Had a really great time with the Replugios! Thought that it would have been a bad experience; but it was so fun. What I loved most was the jamming sessions where we just sat around, sang our hearts out, just doing what we love, like a family. We had an internal showcase – where we were split into bands, with different dynamics (I had a beatboxer & a keyboardist!!) and I sang ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ by Britney Spears. I changed the whole arrangement of the song, and the feel was so different. I felt so proud of my team for coming up with such an arrangement!

The best part of the show? All of us had our special styles so every single performance was really awesome to watch!

Needa unpack, prepare for the next few activities. Shall blog properly soon! xo

Things to give thanks for.

  1. Getting into Round 1 of REPLUG auditions
  2. Getting into Round 2 of REPLUG auditions
  3. Getting into RHAPSODY
  4. Getting into the Round 1 of the musical
  5. Making new friends in a new environment
  6. Getting appreciated for things
  7. Appreciating old friends even more

There’s so many things to thank God for. But I don’t think I have time to touch on everything. God has been really good to me; His faithfulness never fails. Just when I thought He has forgotten about me, He surprises me with His miracles. All my life I have been failing umpteen auditions/interviews, but look where has His gift brought me.

I got accepted into 2 IGs I genuinely did not think I would have made through because of their standards. I got into the first round of the Musical auditions – and this was really unexpected. I mean, I can’t act even though I’m so dramatic. I screwed up the singing part of the audition which I knew I could have done better. I love dancing, but I look atrocious when I do. Things that I didn’t think would happen, did happen. I don’t know if it’s too early to be happy about anything. But I am already grateful for already coming this far. I just hope it’ll get better and better, but I know He has a purpose for me. I might not be able to succeed now, but who knows in the future?

Acceptance – a new word that I learn the meaning of. Accepting people for not only their strengths, but their flaws as well. Being accepted feels great, something that I truly felt only at this point in my life. I want to make people feel great/accepted for who they are around me. I want to help everyone feel the meaning of acceptance, even at the littlest moment in their life.

Whoever we are assigned with, I feel that we should embrace their flaws and make use of their strengths. No one person is perfect. In the working environment in the future, you don”t get to choose who your bosses are, who your colleagues are, who your clients are. Whatever the character they come with, you just have to learn to adapt to the circumstances.

Faith.

Hullo readers!

Here’s some updates about what I’ve been doing these days!

  • Auditions for RHAPSODY
  • Auditions for Reflections musical: The Makan Place
  • Auditions Round 1 and 2 for REPLUG

Boy, am I so glad that they’re all over. I hate having the jitters before/during auditions. You know, I’ll keep thinking about it all the time until they’re finally over before I can heave a sigh of relief. It’s kinda scary, but then again, I promised myself to have to grab all opportunities or else I’ll regret it. Though the auditions for the musical was kinda new to me, having to dance, sing and read a monologue, I’m really surprised that I really like it:)  I just hope I get some small part in the musical, just for the fun of it:)

I got into both REPLUG and RHAPSODY. And I think it’s impossible for me to go and do both (Not that I’ll want anyway). For your information, REPLUG is an IG which redefines music; while RHAPSODY is an acapella singing group (Is it the same like show choir?). I went for both auditions, hoping I’ll get into either one and get rejected by the other. But then, both accepted me, so what do I do now?

I feel that being in REPLUG would be pretty stressful for me, and stress is the one thing I do not want to have on my plate right now. While RHAPSODY really gives me the feel of being in a family, like GLEE. I mean, since I said that, my mind is already made up, right?

I need to really master my time management, or else things are going to go the way I do not want it to be. Guess I have a lot to balance on my plate right now, the last thing I need to spread myself too thinly like before, and regret it all over again. Need to pray and ask that Daddy will help me with this; Mother has already said that she’ll want me to quit the IGs if my academics suffer.

Really detest the thought of having so much to balance on my plate right now; the many groups of friends, academics, IGs. Ah, this is so annoying.

But there’s a side to you, that I never knew, I never knew

Hey readers!

Again, I don’t know if there’s people who actually bother to read my blog;) Just wanna say a huge thank you to those who have been very very sweet to me these few weeks;)

Me; the cutie pie

Being another person altogether is really the best feeling in the world. A person who doesn’t have to wear a mask where ever she goes, a girl who just do all the things she feels like doing at that moment, at that second, someone who just wanna live life to the fullest and smile every single minute of her life. I love not having to wear a mask just to hide what I feel, the fact that I don’t have to keep up with pretences, or to change myself just to suit someone else. I want you to love me for who I am, what I love to do, who I wanna be. I don’t want to be that girl who keeps changing just to make someone else happy. For once, I want to be happy, for myself.

Dani & me;

“Friends are the siblings God forgot to give us.”  – Anonymous

I agree with that quote;) You can have many many friends, but you will only have that few that will stand by you. I don’t know about you, but I think this bunch of people in the picture up there are awesome. They have shown me what friendship is really about.

The morning meet-ups – waiting for me to come unless I’m absolutely late, the lunch at LAWN every single day without fail just to catch up with one another, the camwhore time. 

Dude, I’m still shocked with what you did. I really am. I don’t know how things will go, what the outcome will become, all I know is I think I’m falling in love with you even more every single time you do something like that. I don’t know how to describe this; it doesn’t feel like love, yet it doesn’t feel like friends. I think I’m still confused. xoxo

I’m here without you

Still waiting for Charmaine to get her RJ over and done with! Rhapsody was the bomb tonight;) I’m so excited to go for the auditions on the 8th, after having REPLUG’s auditions on the 7th. Talking about the audition, I have no confidence about it. It’s like so rushed, we barely have time to practise but I have to say that my band mates are kinda great, especially after the random jamming after practice!:) I love resinging old songs – ‘Superman‘ by Five for Fighting, ‘I’m Yours‘ by Jason Mraz, ‘Bubbly‘ by Colbie Caillat, ‘Hero‘ by Enrique. It was kinda mash-up/medley, and it feels so great to be amongst people who love music as much as me.

If you stop thinking about something, you will get it. – Andy Warhol

I think that quote is so true; it speaks so much in my life. Every single time I’m done thinking something is over, it has to come and surprise me with something good. I don’t want to expect much again, because it will go ahead and disappoint me all the time, like it always do. So I’m just going to let nature take its course, let things go its own way, and I’m going to ignore what everyone says.

Cos what matters most is what my heart says, not what my head says.

Lovin’ You

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Shots from my class’s “photoshoot”. We finally got down to getting class pictures taken; and it’s one of the most awesome things I ever done;) We’re this bunch of fun people, sure, there are conflicts but together, we’re kinda like a family. I really thank God for blessing me with such great classmates for first semester, making it one of the best things in the start of my new life in RP!:)

I’m still feeling so confused for my feelings for you. Sometimes, I don’t get your actions. Sometimes, you’re the cause of my smiles. But sometimes, you’re the cause of my wanting to cry. I want to tell you everything, but I am so afraid of your reaction. This is not easy for me.

Just a little note to you.

If you didn’t notice, I’m actually much happier with the friends I met in RP than my friends from secondary school. I’m not trying to make a comparison, but hell no, don’t tell me who I should make friends with.

It’s your own choice if you wish to put your guard and what not, or if you have no intention to make new friends in your RP life. It’s your own choice if you wish to hang out with your secondary school friends after school, but I don’t. It’s your own choice if you think your so-called friends in RP are bad influences, but my friends are not. It’s your own choice if you feel that you want to keep away from them, but DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Listen. It’s my choice to decide who I should hang out with, because I’m the one socialising with them. It’s my choice to decide what I want to do after school, because it’s my life and not yours.

Sometimes, you just need to let go off your beliefs and let new people in. Don’t just hang around people you’re so comfortable with all the time. Let your hair down, make new friends, increase your network. What’s the harm out of all this?

Nowadays, I find that it’s just a chore trying to keep up with what you want to talk about; it just feels like we’re on different levels, different paths right now.

Don’t treat me like a fool, because you, of all people, should know I know how to defend myself if anyone hurts me. 

Friend or foe?

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Hello readers!

I’m so glad that the weekend is here; many new changes to adapt to, new people to meet, new everything. It’s a week into poly life, and I’m glad with the effort I’ve been putting in. I’m proud to say that I put in my best for every single module that I’ve taken this week, so whatever the result, I already did my best.

Made a bunch of good friends through FOP, and I’m glad I went for it. To those who didn’t, you probably lost out. I’m glad I’m able to be who I want to be around them – no shield, no lies, no pretences. I feel it from my smiles, laughters, grins from the pictures.

I appreciate the little times we’ve been skypeing even though we’re in the same class, same building or even right next to each other. How I’m able to confide in them, and trusting that they won’t speak of it to anyone else. I love how we IM each other during classes – talking about the good and the bad things that’s been going on. I love how you guys appreciate for who I am, and who I want to be.

You know how encouraging it is when people cheer so loudly they lose their voice, just because I’m going on stage doing what I loved best. Even though I’m shaking with fear inside of me, I just want to do these people who’s cheering some justice. I never been appreciated more in my entire life. Guess what, we screwed up the performance in Jam&Hop, yet people came by not to blame me but thank me for going up and saying I did well. All these little gestures would never fail to make me smile, make me feel belonged even more.

All my life, as long as I started to open my mouth, people tell me to ‘Shut the hell up‘ or ‘You’re so fucking annoying. Stop singing, will you?‘. Or if I started dancing, people start to snigger or they’ll comment on how funny I look. Do you guys ever stopped to think that it would hurt my feelings or was I just another person you guys could make fun of?

But this bunch of friends, they don’t tell me to shut up or they don’t ignore me when I say something no matter how ridiculous it is. They don’t laugh at me when I dance, they join me and they say that I can really dance. They don’t call me fat, they call me ‘a little huge ball of energy’. But most of all, when I sing, they sing with me and they say genuinely encourage me to sing more. When I do recordings, they look forward to it. When I need someone to accompany me to attend dance open class, they’re here.

Maybe the people in my past reacted to me in that way because I had a certain attitude towards them. I don’t blame them, because I was really mean, bitchy. I’m a totally new person now – starting afresh, where everyone came from different pasts and no one minded who you were before, all they care is what you do right now and how you behave right now.

I just wanted to say that my purpose in writing this is not to push the friends I’ve made from my past (the clique, the council, the GB friends, the Choir friends, classmates) aside just because I have new friends. Whenever I whatsapp y’all, I feel like I don’t matter to you guys anymore. You don’t reply my texts, or else you just treat it like it’s another text message. Whenever I try to organise another outing/gathering, no one wants to respond. But the moment someone else try to organise something, you guys respond. How do you think I will feel about that? I’m only human you know.

I feel that just because we’re all in different schools, different schedules, different group of friends, don’t push away the ones you made before – people you spent more time with, people who knew you more than the ones know of you now. Because the moment you do that, you hurt someone else whom thought you bothered, or cared.

RJ – Introduction to Communication!

I feel that Adolf Hitler would be one example of a good communicator. Even though I do not agree with his action of the extermination of the Jews, I felt that one reason why he could still be so powerful and influential in the world at that time would be how he was able to communicate effectively, especially with his people of Germany.

Hitler was an excellent orator and an influential leader. For a politician to be successful in his political life, one had to gain the support of the people. Hitler was very successful in this point. He knew what the people wanted and he gave it to them. This would be demostrated through his policy: All things to all men A few examples would be how Hitler promised the rich people/farmers that if they voted for him, their want of controlling the Communists would be fulfilled so that there will not be rebellions happening in their farms, which would result in the loss of manpower and in turn, cause a loss in earnings. He also promised the people of Germany that he would abolish the harsh terms in the Treaty of Versailles. He understood that with the terms of the TOV in place, Germany would suffer a loss of national pride and he knew what the people wanted – for them to regain their national pride. He also gave the people someone to blame for all the problems, and thus he made the Jews a common enemy. This showed that he made used of giving them a common identity which was critical in making him an effective leader. From the examples we know that he focused on a few groups of people and gave them what they wanted – he knew who were his target groups were, he
knew what his audience wanted.

I feel that what Hitler has done would relate very closely to what we have learnt today in class. I can identify that Hitler identify what the different groups of people wanted, he knew where they differed in terms of maturity level, age, and most importantly in this context, the expectations they wanted. One characteristic that helped him would be how he was very charismatic – he knew how to engage his audience. I also know that communication takes place in a context, and it is evident when it shows how Hitler differ when he speak to different crowds of people. In this case, it would also be the case of public communication.

God knows we’re hurting

Don’t know why I just can’t sleep. Seems like I have too many things in my mind, and my head won’t go to rest until it has gotten everything from my heart out.

So let’s see. When I obviously have so many things in my life that are worth to be sad for, I chose to push it away and focus on things that make me happy.

Things that make me happy

  • When I see myself motivated to complete the worksheet
  • When I receive good comments from facilitators
  • When people appreciate my voice
  • When I’m with my favourite people – Dani & Sarah
  • When I’m camwhoring
  • When I’m finally home after all the travelling

Things that make me sad/angry:

  • Having classmates who don’t do their share of work
  • Having facilitators who don’t do the things they’re s’pposed to do but pick on the students instead
  • When I get hungry and cranky
  • When I can’t sleep when I’m supposed to
  • When people don’t reply my texts
  • When people take me for granted
  • When I have a sore throat and I can’t sing
  • When I’m late for something
  • When old friends forget about me
  • When someone else becomes more important than me

Here are some of the things in a list that I’ve  created:) I feel like a whiny child when I do the last list, but it does help to get things out.

The  fact/thought of meeting up with fellow team seven friends just hanging out, or doing our RJs together always make me look forward to going to school. I don’t have much interaction with my classmates; some might think I’m too loud, some might think I’m too outspoken or attention-seeking but hey, who cares? As long as I don’t overdo it, I don’t think anyone has the right to bother with who I wanna be. I love hanging out with my favourite people after school because we’ll talk of the day’s happenings and updates about guys!;)

Do you know how frustrating it is; to want to be the best, putting your best yet not attaining the results that you want. Sometimes I wonder if all the effort I put in will ever be seen by the facilitator; they might think its just for show, but all I want to prove is that I’m hardworking and determined to get the top marks for my modules. I’m not trying to be a show off-er, a bossy person but all I am is a student who just wants the best for herself.

Marketing <3

I think Marketing is off for a good start. It’s really really thought-provoking as compared to other modules I’m taking right now:) I love how we question and how marketing works outside in the actual market, I guess I’m gonna be looking forward to Marketing lessons. The first impression that it gave me was that it was really boring, all theory-based and lots of ideas we need to come up with. But I think it’ll be good:)

Got to rush the PDT, PPT and worksheet. I’m actually really excited to update this post, but there’s time constraints! ❤

Just gonna stand there and watch you burn.

Math class was thought-provoking today. It made me question about why I use a certain method in solving the questions and why we actually use what formulas we actually use to do our questions. Here’s an example.

Q: Looking at your equation in Q3, there is a certain sequence of the operations that affect the final answer. If so, which operations should come first and which can be performed later? You may like to come up with an example to show how this sequence affects the final answer.

The certain sequence of operations would be using the acronym BODMAS, which would be brackets, operations, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction. It would be in the following order in the acronym.

The example would be:

    • (2 + 5) x 6
    • 2 + 5 x 6

Mathematics is no longer the usual thing of equations, formulas and symbols any more. We used to answer Math questions via pen and paper, and we used to complain about such things. We used to be able to do Math without typing it in the computer; we didn’t bother about out handwriting, we didn’t care that our teachers have to read it. Now I really understand why the teacher takes time to come up with worksheets; the fact that they have to use the computer to prepare the worksheets for us is already an ordeal itself. We always thought writing and practising the equations by hand is tedious but once you start having to type it out, it’s so annoyingly annoying. That’s a change from what we’ve been doing.

I love this two people: Sarah Jane and Dani:) I’m so glad to have met them from FOP because they’re always here for me!:) Shall update tomorrow!

xoxo

Problem-based Learning

Hey readers:)

Today is the first official school day in RP. It’s the first day I start my first module in RP, the first day for so many things new. It’s a totally different feeling having to know only your OGLs and your freshmen mates, and a different feeling of meeting your old seniors (people who really hate you) and you feel so awkward around school with them whispering. Today is also the first day of problem-based learning – a really new approach than what I’m used to in MOE 10 year education pedagogy.

It’s really different from what I am used to, and I have to adapt to it. I don’t know how long I’ll take to adapt, but I hope it’ll be soon I’ll adapt or else my grades will suffer. There are pros and cons of using the Internet and the laptop of doing your schoolwork + notes, but I just wanna say I miss using the pen and paper.

Done with the first day of school, and it’s really a different change from everything I’ve been so used to for the past ten years. Every year since I was primary one, all we ever did was to sit there and listen to the teachers go on about the day’s learning, then we’ll have to complete some class work, then she’ll assign homework which is due the very next day. Sometimes we’ll have class tests, sometimes we’ll have mental sums, and twice a year we’ll have semestral exams.

But now we have daily problems (and their one heck of a problem), presentations to do every single day at the third meeting, and RJs, quiz, self and peer evaluations every single day and every single one of them contribute to my daily grade, which in turn will contribute to my module grade, which in the end will contribute to my GPA.

I’m really behaving like a nerd, who goes around doing notes and rushing to the presentations even if my group mates are not focused. I try to do my best, but it seems like my best isn’t enough. This is worse than secondary school where CA marks mattered, but now even attendance and everything you do is graded.

All I want to do now is really put in the very best I have, and that God will do the rest.

REPUBLIC REPUBLIC, ONE TEAM, ONE TEAM!

HULLO readers!

Anyone wondering why I didn’t post for the past few days? Well, I was at RP for my Freshmen Orientation Programme (FOP) and it was hella fun. I wouldn’t want to go into the details because there’s too much to say, yet too little time. It would be memories for me, and those whom I got closer to throughout the three days.

I swear, travelling is really a bitch. I take about 40 mins to go to school and an hour to go home. And I would have been really tired out by the events during the day and when it’s time to go back, I’ll be dead tired.

I just wanna say: I never regretted being in RP. I guess it’s one of the best decisions I made in my life, especially to have chosen DIEM. People in SOH are fun-loving, awesome, passionate! They really made me see that RP is just like any other polytechnic.

It’s gonna be a new life – fun filled with lots of friends, awesome seniors, talented interest groups! A whole new start where people truly accepted you for who you are, not who you pretend to be!:)

Will post more with pictures another time. Right now, I just wanna sit at a cozy corner, watching the happenings around me.

Sometimes you’ll need to take a step back from everything else happening – pleasant or unpleasant – and just watch things that are going on. Reflect and see things from a more positive life. It makes life easier like that.

xoxo

Just get yourself back home

Hey y’all:)

Just a quick post; life’s been great! Out with my families during the weekend, SC Investiture on Monday, shopping with the girls today, from tomorrow onwards a new life awaits:)

Orientation Camp starts tomorrow; I’ll be going with mixed feelings. I never liked being a freshmen, it always make me feel out of place and small, but I’m pretty sure I’ll adapt to school life. Yes, I do miss secondary school but I’ll be brave and take the first step (always the hardest, but once you’re over with it, things get smoother.)

I’ve set myself a GOAL: To do everything to the best I can:) I’m not going to let the same scenario in secondary school ruin the rest of my life. This is still one more step I can change!:)

Hope the weather will stay fine today – not too hot, not too cold, just cloudy and right!:) Will update more when I get the time! xoxo

Things to do!

Hello people! 🙂

I’m in the midst of transferring all my things from the Macbook to the hard disk, because I’ve got to go down to RP tmr to do my laptop configuration. Hopefully it’s pretty quick, or else I’ll be stuck there the entire day *cross fingers*

It’s day 2 of not going to work when it’s a weekday- and I’ve just been lazing around. Haven’t been doing much except read the papers, transferring the documents, watching youtube videos on how to transfer EVERYTHING, and sleeping. Thats about what I’ve been doing yesterday and today. I need to get more organised, but the thing is, I just wanna rest. Probably going to go running for half an hour before dinner, then I’ll rest for the rest of the night. I’ll get to watch the Noose, and the Channel U show. *smiles*

My Phuket trip was so awesome! ❤ It was so much better than expected, and I loved every single part of it except the part where I got sunburnt, and the little flies that are simply everywhere!:) It was an eye opener especially the part at the night street. Mumsie signed the package, meaning I’ll get to go overseas again very soon! Pictures are already up on facebook, and I don’t like wordpress form of uploading pictures so I decided not to include the pictures here!

Cheerleading competition was awesome! Spent the entire day leading cheers in front of so many people, and I got to go on the news because I posed with the Minister. I’m so proud of my girls cos they looked so smart in their cheerleading costumes! ❤ Now I’m sick because I kept cheering and cheering till I’ve got no more voice:( Hopefully I recover soon, then I’ll get to start doing covers with Hung again! We’re hoping for more chances to perform gigs at Scape! So I’m praying it’ll happen too! I’m pursuing dance, and I promise to work on my vocals. If I have intentions to join a singing company, then I’ll have to learn to be more versatile in my singing. And not to forget, being able to recognise pitches/keys which is most important.

❤ Catch with y’all really soon!

Skies are crying, I am watching.

Hello readers.

I’m so sorry for all the unkept promises of updating the blog the next day or smth because I’m always working and I can’t seem to multi task whilst I blog cos I’ll probably say the wrong things to the customer. I just realised that the readers I’m referring to, simply just refers to me. How’s that sound? Maybe I should get more people to know about my blog. Though wordpress simply wanna make me pay for basically whatever I wanna use – be it the font, or the space uploading the pictures – I will not fear. I’ll simply post without pictures then. Anyways, I don’t have pictures to post up for now. My life is currently surrounded by work.

I’m so glad to be able to say I FINALLY ACCEPTED MY PLACE IN RP! My parents were like ‘Its your choice’ so I decided to just go for it, and really excel in poly. Because I don’t wanna end up like how I’m left with hardly any choices in secondary school. But basically, it’s not like I know what I wanna do with life anyways. I think the singing career suits me the best. With all the glitz and glamour, but it isn’t that easy. Ahh, let’s just put aside such serious things in life like my future career. That can wait, for a teeny bit longer.

I think I’ll miss my current job at SPH a lot. I mean, although it is kinda boring saying the same lines to the same old annoying Singaporeans, I have way much more freedom than working out on the selling floor. I can snack, text, read and basically do almost anything I want so long as I’m on the phone talking to the subscribers. I can even sit down unlike my other previous jobs where my aching legs simply just tortured me. Maybe I’ll come back after my trip 🙂 My colleagues are a funny bunch of people, and I know I will miss them. But guess, all things still have to end.

My life would be pretty eventful after this week! On saturday, I’ll have a lot of appointments. Sunday, I’ll be working and going to my grandma’s place. On Monday, I would be having a BBQ with my favourite people. And on tuesday, I’ll be off to Phuket:) On the night I’m back, I’ll be going to stay over at GB HQ if possible! Because saturday, we have the Creative Cheerleading Competition which I’m helping. And on sunday, I  have an outing with the M&S staff! Then monday, I’ll be having recording sessions hopefully with Yu Hung! 🙂 I missed how busy my life was before, with so many trainings, and meet ups and what not. And then for a period of time, I was absolutely so bored – waiting for things to happen. But now things are gonna change because my parents have been so much less lenient in my outings, and meet up with friends. And school is going to start! I can’t wait for freshmen camp to start on the 5th, and for orientation camp from the 11th – 13th.

Knocking off from work in a bit. I’ll hopefully be able to update the things tmr morning! ❤

XOXO.