Uninteresting Caption I

I think one thing that really gets to me from blogging would be the pain of having to come up with amazing captions that draw people. I honestly don’t know how some people can come up with interesting captions with a snap of my finger. On another note, the last post was filled with so much anger & rants that I wrote at 2AM in the morning (which I still think it’s justified) except for the fact no one prolly can read it since I locked with a password I don’t know myself.

So… I’ve been busy with rehearsals for President’s Star Charity 2013 but honestly I don’t feel like I’ve been doing much, considering that the item we’re doing is really against my principle (as in, not the song itself) but I think it’s inappropriate to talk about it here (these are things I can only keep to myself sigh) but I really hate hate hate what I’m being forced to do. I don’t feel as motivated for this show but I will still put in my best. In any case, I still had fun – meeting up with one of my fav group of people. Really missed the times we spent tgt every single day for fitting, for rehearsals, for vocal training, for dance, for radio interview, for press conferences. I missed the boot camp but when I finally find the time, I might compile them into a blog entry.

IMG_1995Our very first rehearsal for the show | Credits to Rozz for the photo 🙂

IMG_1996

My messy hair & the gang with our amazing vocal coach (whom I also found out to be a really amazing photographer), Hazrul

IMG_2150Taken during rehearsals on set this afternoon | Credits to Ashley for the amazing angle 🙂

Realized my blog has been too much words & too little photos (hahaha) and I’ve finally found the time to compile those photos from the phone so yes, look out for more photos that were long overdued. I’ve also a post set aside for the gig I did at Ocean Financial Centre which will also be on my other blog – http://faithjiaen.blogspot.sg – which I started when I was in The Final 1. My ladies from Replug did the banners for those & they’re so preetz, which was why I couldn’t bear to close the blog down even tho I was out of the competition.

And I was told I’m Replug’s REFLECTIONS show’s SM (which stands for stage manager) which is a pretty huge role, considering the amount of pressure I actually face right now. I’m literally cramming my head & crossing my fingers I won’t ruin the show. Just completed the bump in & in the midst of sorting my stage cues… Full dress rehearsals for PSC tmr – which means I get all dolled up – which means I should head to bed soon. School’s starting but that’s for another day.

That’s all I have for now but if you find yourself missing me, check out my Facebook page (http://facebook.com/faithjiaen), my Twitter (http://twitter.com/faithjiaen), my Instagram (http://instagram.com/faithjiaen) or drop me some interesting questions on my Ask.fm (http://ask.fm/faithjiaen) I hope I have time to update those sites as well 😉 Ciao! xx

Visuals.

Been really caught up with different things in life. Shall let the pictures do the talking:’)

RP NDOC 2012

My first performance in RP

Band practice for Wavehouse

Presenting you, Class of AY 2012/13 Semester 1

Jerald & Nicholas

CJ and I

Minyi & I

Sufie & I

Haziq & I

The ladies

Cheryl & I

Treats from Sarah.

Our photographer at work.

TGIF

Replug

A collage of my Replug family (Not all were present)

I really love this collage! Credits to Amanda for doing this! It’s so lovely!

Spent my Friday evening with the awesomest people!;) We were supporting our seniors who were performing for a Ignite preview and it’s really awesome even tho there were glitches. We all learnt something from it, I guess. Practiced with my band mates for our showcase, seems like it’s going well. Just hope my voice does heal before the showcase or I might as well roll over and kill myself already. Headed to ‘The Deck’ that everyone was talking about, guess where everyone hung loose but I couldn’t stay long!

xo lovelies!

I’m a REPLUGIO

What am I s’pposed to do when the best part of me is always you? What am I s’pposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re okay yea? I’m falling to pieces, yea.

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Although I’m s’pposed to head down to school for some music theory lesson kinda thing, I’m quite lazy to move seeing that I live in the east and my school’s in Woodlands. And I’ll be the only vocalist there while the rest are musicians. I feel so out-of-place. Le sigh.

Just ended Replug camp last week, and to be honest, I really miss it. It’s the best camp I’ve ever been to, and I don’t have times that I’m falling asleep because of talks, boring games or meaningless programmes. I saw another side to the people, which are really different from the first impressions that I had of them. And ever since I’ve been in the Members Only group, I’m enjoying the statuses they post up there. I’m finally able to say that: ‘I’M PROUD TO BE A REPLUGIO’

xoxo

Don’t you realised I decided to push you out from my life? Don’t you realised I’m good at doing that? I don’t need someone like you in my life; I need someone there for me no matter what. I don’t want you as a bf, but I don’t even want you as a friend even more. You just proved to me you’re not what I expected you to be anyway. In any case, I’m glad to be rid of you.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Doesn’t God’s handiworks look ever so amazing?

Been looking forward to this day since forever, where I finally met up with people whom I missed so much;)

It’s like when you get to see everyone every single day, you seem to take their presence for granted. But when we are all parted into going our different paths in life, you always pine for the days that are now just  memories. When you finally meet up, you seem to have many things to say to one another.

It was like that for us yesterday; we were watching Shakespeare in the Park: The Twelfth Night play and I have to say it was really funny and awesome. Adrian Pang was the bomb, even though he is not playing the lead role, I would have to say no one would be able to play his role better than him. He has a great voice, I must say.

I shall stop here, and let the pictures do the talking;) xoxo

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Nostalgia

Don’t cha wish time would just slow down, let you catch up with everyone before they move on again? I have no idea why I’m feeling so depressed now; just by looking at the pictures on my timeline, I am tearing up. Again.

The few pictures we all have together. Look where we are at right now. Just stop, and look. Have you forgotten how I laugh? Or the fact that I love to sing? Or maybe my flaws have already influenced your mind to forget about this old friend of yours. I miss y’all very much. I miss the times we used to walk down to the canteen #likeaboss, and the times where we just break into the chorus of a song.

At the time when I broke down, I wished every single one of you were there with me. I wished I had those reassuring words I had taken for granted, or those hugs I thought would always be there. xo

One of the people I missed the most. You’re one of the closest; someone I felt was truly my soul sister. Someone who understood mostly what I was going through, someone who gave me advice, someone who’ll lend me her shoulder to cry on, someone who’ll offer her free hugs, someone who’ll camwhore with me. xoxo

I really missed the times I had with everyone of you! You girls are like my family; especially those whom I’ve grown with. I miss the feeling of warmth, acceptance, love from you girls! It’s like I have this family, who never left. xo

I miss you dudes the most! I was looking at all the videos we had, I was laughing away. I couldn’t believe how little things like these could make us smile, or the lamest things we could do just to entertain ourselves. We might be a lil eccentric, but we love each other all the same! I spent the best four years of my life growing up with you girls, I can’t wait to see y’all again. It’s like when we could see each other everyday, we were just ‘Hi, Bye’ but now that we have all gone different paths, look at the endless conversations, encouragements we give to each other. xo

Another family in school; the Student Council. This is somewhere I didn’t expect myself to end up in. I’m one of the most rebellious people, God knows why MrKang still accepted me into the council. However, it showed what different things faith could do.  I don’t think I would have become the leader I am, or the things I’m capable of. I miss hearing all the laughter from the SC room, or maybe the random dance we learn. Maybe camwhoring would be another thing. I don’t know who I would have become without these people supporting me at the back from whatever I’m doing. xoxo

I miss jamming with y’all. Really. Although we look otherwise, I think we’re cool. I really miss all the lame things Alvin would come up with, or some cheeky face that Hung would make. I really miss y’all so much, I miss how the atmosphere feel around you guys. You guys never fail to put that smile on my face, or make me feel like I do have something I can be proud of. Because you guys had faith in me. xoxo

Can you believe this? I even miss how the guys would tease me; for everything. Especially Harris and Nhavin. I miss the times during Chemistry, and Chinese where we’ll be crapping away at the back. Talking nonsense, playing poker with polaroids. I don’t know what else y’all are capable of. I miss all the teasing. xoxo

I might have left out certain people, but it’s simply impossible for me to list out everyone. Whatever I wrote here is an understatement, because the things you guys have done is simply indescribable.

No matter how bright my future seems, it’s the people from the past who mould me to become who I am today.

But there’s a side to you, that I never knew, I never knew

Hey readers!

Again, I don’t know if there’s people who actually bother to read my blog;) Just wanna say a huge thank you to those who have been very very sweet to me these few weeks;)

Me; the cutie pie

Being another person altogether is really the best feeling in the world. A person who doesn’t have to wear a mask where ever she goes, a girl who just do all the things she feels like doing at that moment, at that second, someone who just wanna live life to the fullest and smile every single minute of her life. I love not having to wear a mask just to hide what I feel, the fact that I don’t have to keep up with pretences, or to change myself just to suit someone else. I want you to love me for who I am, what I love to do, who I wanna be. I don’t want to be that girl who keeps changing just to make someone else happy. For once, I want to be happy, for myself.

Dani & me;

“Friends are the siblings God forgot to give us.”  – Anonymous

I agree with that quote;) You can have many many friends, but you will only have that few that will stand by you. I don’t know about you, but I think this bunch of people in the picture up there are awesome. They have shown me what friendship is really about.

The morning meet-ups – waiting for me to come unless I’m absolutely late, the lunch at LAWN every single day without fail just to catch up with one another, the camwhore time. 

Dude, I’m still shocked with what you did. I really am. I don’t know how things will go, what the outcome will become, all I know is I think I’m falling in love with you even more every single time you do something like that. I don’t know how to describe this; it doesn’t feel like love, yet it doesn’t feel like friends. I think I’m still confused. xoxo

Lovin’ You

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Shots from my class’s “photoshoot”. We finally got down to getting class pictures taken; and it’s one of the most awesome things I ever done;) We’re this bunch of fun people, sure, there are conflicts but together, we’re kinda like a family. I really thank God for blessing me with such great classmates for first semester, making it one of the best things in the start of my new life in RP!:)

I’m still feeling so confused for my feelings for you. Sometimes, I don’t get your actions. Sometimes, you’re the cause of my smiles. But sometimes, you’re the cause of my wanting to cry. I want to tell you everything, but I am so afraid of your reaction. This is not easy for me.

Love you, love you not?

Hello readers!;)

Guess I haven’t been updating for a week; can’t seem to find the right words to write.

While the rest had lunch, I decided to camwhore with Dani’s iPod.

I love the effects! We went to JCube for ice-skating, then City Hall for shopping with Mashita and Dani ❤ Talked the entire time in the train, laughing and ignoring what others thought of us. Learnt how to ice-skate, I would love to do it again after I’m done with dance lessons!:) Walked around JCube to look for a pair of jeans but to no avail, because it’s practically empty there. Went to City Hall with the other two and we went to so many shops in the two hours. Legs were aching from ice-skating, so we went home early!:)

I don’t know how I feel, I just know without you, I feel so lost. I just want to tell you “It’s you, stupid”. Need I say more?

Just a little note to you.

If you didn’t notice, I’m actually much happier with the friends I met in RP than my friends from secondary school. I’m not trying to make a comparison, but hell no, don’t tell me who I should make friends with.

It’s your own choice if you wish to put your guard and what not, or if you have no intention to make new friends in your RP life. It’s your own choice if you wish to hang out with your secondary school friends after school, but I don’t. It’s your own choice if you think your so-called friends in RP are bad influences, but my friends are not. It’s your own choice if you feel that you want to keep away from them, but DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Listen. It’s my choice to decide who I should hang out with, because I’m the one socialising with them. It’s my choice to decide what I want to do after school, because it’s my life and not yours.

Sometimes, you just need to let go off your beliefs and let new people in. Don’t just hang around people you’re so comfortable with all the time. Let your hair down, make new friends, increase your network. What’s the harm out of all this?

Nowadays, I find that it’s just a chore trying to keep up with what you want to talk about; it just feels like we’re on different levels, different paths right now.

Don’t treat me like a fool, because you, of all people, should know I know how to defend myself if anyone hurts me. 

Friend or foe?

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Hello readers!

I’m so glad that the weekend is here; many new changes to adapt to, new people to meet, new everything. It’s a week into poly life, and I’m glad with the effort I’ve been putting in. I’m proud to say that I put in my best for every single module that I’ve taken this week, so whatever the result, I already did my best.

Made a bunch of good friends through FOP, and I’m glad I went for it. To those who didn’t, you probably lost out. I’m glad I’m able to be who I want to be around them – no shield, no lies, no pretences. I feel it from my smiles, laughters, grins from the pictures.

I appreciate the little times we’ve been skypeing even though we’re in the same class, same building or even right next to each other. How I’m able to confide in them, and trusting that they won’t speak of it to anyone else. I love how we IM each other during classes – talking about the good and the bad things that’s been going on. I love how you guys appreciate for who I am, and who I want to be.

You know how encouraging it is when people cheer so loudly they lose their voice, just because I’m going on stage doing what I loved best. Even though I’m shaking with fear inside of me, I just want to do these people who’s cheering some justice. I never been appreciated more in my entire life. Guess what, we screwed up the performance in Jam&Hop, yet people came by not to blame me but thank me for going up and saying I did well. All these little gestures would never fail to make me smile, make me feel belonged even more.

All my life, as long as I started to open my mouth, people tell me to ‘Shut the hell up‘ or ‘You’re so fucking annoying. Stop singing, will you?‘. Or if I started dancing, people start to snigger or they’ll comment on how funny I look. Do you guys ever stopped to think that it would hurt my feelings or was I just another person you guys could make fun of?

But this bunch of friends, they don’t tell me to shut up or they don’t ignore me when I say something no matter how ridiculous it is. They don’t laugh at me when I dance, they join me and they say that I can really dance. They don’t call me fat, they call me ‘a little huge ball of energy’. But most of all, when I sing, they sing with me and they say genuinely encourage me to sing more. When I do recordings, they look forward to it. When I need someone to accompany me to attend dance open class, they’re here.

Maybe the people in my past reacted to me in that way because I had a certain attitude towards them. I don’t blame them, because I was really mean, bitchy. I’m a totally new person now – starting afresh, where everyone came from different pasts and no one minded who you were before, all they care is what you do right now and how you behave right now.

I just wanted to say that my purpose in writing this is not to push the friends I’ve made from my past (the clique, the council, the GB friends, the Choir friends, classmates) aside just because I have new friends. Whenever I whatsapp y’all, I feel like I don’t matter to you guys anymore. You don’t reply my texts, or else you just treat it like it’s another text message. Whenever I try to organise another outing/gathering, no one wants to respond. But the moment someone else try to organise something, you guys respond. How do you think I will feel about that? I’m only human you know.

I feel that just because we’re all in different schools, different schedules, different group of friends, don’t push away the ones you made before – people you spent more time with, people who knew you more than the ones know of you now. Because the moment you do that, you hurt someone else whom thought you bothered, or cared.

Dedications <3

This has been due for such a long time!:)

The Clique’s

This is still, the one and only picture of our clique. I seriously miss those times in secondary school, where all of us were in white collar and most in the same class. Our friendship has gone through thick and thin, especially my relationship with y’all, but I just wanna thank you all the same for being here for me all the time. Throughout my entire life since I have known y’all. At the times when I was most unreasonable, you guys gave in to me. At the times when I was at my most temperamental, you guys tried listening. At the times when I feel the worst, y’all were here for me. Thank you so much! I know I haven’t been one of the best friend I should have been when y’all need me, but I promise I will try. Now that we’re all separated to all walks of life, I can say you guys are one of the biggest part of my secondary school life. I will never forget all the memories, the texts, the morning breakfast, the things we planned out together, the camps we’ve been through, prom, everything. ❤

Cheryl and me

Hey Cheryl;) We need to take more pictures, I swear. There isn’t one shot where you’re glam and I’m glam, together. It’s either you’re glam and I’m not. Or I’m glam and you’re not. I’m serious! So the next outing, we need to take one shot that both of us looks good in. Putting looks aside, I just wanna say thanks for being my awesome friend, really staying by me through so many things. Really for being my listening ear for every thing that’s going on in my entire life, whether it’s interesting or not. It’s been a great two years knowing you, and I just wanna tell you I’ll be here for you too no matter what. You can always tell me stuff if you’re comfortable, and don’t feel insignificant. Because you’re one of the most important people in my life. xoxo

Sheryl and me

Hello Sheryl. The first impression you gave me was that you were bossy. The first time we met was in choir:) And we just spoke briefly in sec one and two. We only got closer in Sec 2 when both of us were the only two chosen sec twos to join the China CIP with the other Sec 3s. I remembered it was my first trip without my parents, and I was supposed to be independent. To be honest, I really missed those times where we were shopping at Fuzhou City and I told you ‘Let’s not turn into any corners, let’s just go straight and shop. This way we wouldn’t get lost.’ We were the only two who didn’t have a teacher to accompany us, and we didn’t even want them:) I really missed those times, all the poker games, and late night supper, and the cold quail eggs and push monkeys:) Thank you for being a listening ear and for letting me know more about you, in Sec 4 when your mum scolded you for forgetting your entry proof and everything and you spent the afternoon with us in Macs:) We must stay in contact! xoxo

Wendy and me

Hi Wendy! You’ve always been there for me, like all the others have. You’re one of the most dramatic people I’ve ever met, especially your comments and actions never fail to make us laugh:) We always have this little quarrels over doing things, the latest was doing the BBQing of food at Phyllis’ place:) I love the camwhore moments we have!:) You’re also one of the people so prone to injuries I think I can compete with. So far, you’ve broken both your arms, and both your legs. And not to forget, your nose as well. So what’s next? Haha, just joking! Please, I don’t ever wanna see you injured! I can’t wait for school to be starting, especially we’re gonna be in the same school:) ❤

Mandy and me

Hello Mandy! I remembered meeting you in choir as well! I was so talkative, and at that time, I was hoping you’ll stay in choir which you eventually didn’t cos of your love for softball. Thanks for being the supportive friend I needed all these times, especially for my auditions for the Impresario, and everything:) You’ve been one of my greatest supporters, always encouraging me to do what I loved! Just know that I never wanna lose you, dear!:) Promise to stay in contact no matter what, and don’t feel like you’re not part of us during our gatherings:) xoxo

Phoebe and me

Hey Phoebe! I miss my dancing partner! I remember us dancing during LLS, that was one of the best moments in my life!:) I remembered you were in GB in primary school, but I didn’t really know you except that you were quite crazy, always appearing everywhere. I got to know you better when I was in sec 2, and hanging out with Mandy and Chang:) Then both of us were in council, and AK sent us both to LLS. We had so much fun there, especially the part where we were bunk mates! Hahah! We were in the same bunk, and I think I smacked you in the face at night:) Those 3 days and 2 nights was really awesome, with all the dancing, and running without shoes, and waking up in the middle of the night being thrown into the forest. I really miss you so much, especially now that you’re no longer in SG with us! I can’t wait for you to be back again, and we can shop and hang out more! I miss you so much, all of us do actually xoxo

Phyllis and me

Hey Phyllis! I don’t have another solo picture of you with me. We’re always in group pictures together! Hahah! I think I’ve known you for at least 10 years, since we were in GB together! Thanks for being such an awesome company leader:) I remember the first time I ever saw you cry was when I think, Siting got into trouble with the ahbengs and you were so worried for our reputation. That was the first time I ever saw you shed a tear! But really, thank you for being so clear headed while the rest of us continue with all of nonsense, and you always have to get us to snap out of it in order to get things going. xoxo

Guess I’m gonna stop here. Will continue with other people another time!:)

[Busy Day 1] Trying to make it work, but damn these times are hard.

Hey readers! ❤

I was so busy today. I went to work this morning – Dad sent me to work before sending Mother to work. So it saved me the travelling to work I hate so much. Basically, all I did was have breakfast, answered a few calls, and off I left for GB again!:)

Went back to GM, camwhored, and I left to meet Zhi Xuan with Tinghui. We travelled down to Paya Lebar Circle Line station, where we met up with Jolene and Colene. It’s great seeing those girls again 🙂 Missed those times where we planned events for GB, and we camwhored, taking part in different activities together. Sure, they might not be the coolest clique, but they’re all so awesome people 🙂

Posted some pictures of times I really missed, and times where I looked at my best because of the people around me. I really cannot say that we didn’t changed since we first met before. It’s a totally different thing whether to say if we changed for the good or for the worst, but I missed those guys so much!:)

Went to teach drill at Wellington Primary School with Jolene, Colene, Zhixuan and Tinghui. At first, I was up to a rough start with the junior girls cos they were pretty talkative and rude. Partly, I couldn’t understand that they were still kids so I’ve got to let them grow up. But slowly, as I try to lighten my heart, things became so much better. Didn’t really get to understand those girls. But to have seen them improve from what they did before, to what they have achieved before I left is just simply amazing 🙂

Been thinking a lot since I came home from today’s events, and I felt that I should have done a lot of things differently, then maybe I would have turned out someone better, someone whom people can treat seriously. For example, on how I’m not a studious student. I still wanna have my share of fun, but I’m really serious into achieving a good GPA in poly so I can enter a good university of my choice, unlike the limited choices that I could make after secondary school because of my results. Another thing I can’t truly ask/answer myself if I’m one of the most influential leaders in council or GB. Am I? Am I not? These are the kind of questions I wouldn’t be able to answer myself. These are questions I need people to tell me the answer to.

Pioneer Brigaders’ Brooch was one of the top most things I wanted to achieve in my entire life ever since I knew of its existence, one of the few things I would have wanted to receive in my entire life, one of the things that deep down is something that can prove to others as well as myself if I am truly a leader. It’s pretty upsetting how I didn’t receive it, and it truly made me doubt myself as a leader. The PBB experience, though it was good/okay, but it definitely make me look on another side of life, another side of how people can really be, how I really look at GB now. Don’t take me wrong. I’m not writing this in spite because I’m angry/rash/furious because of how I’m unable to receive that brooch. No, please don’t take me wrong. It just left me a scar that up till now, it’s still so hard to mend.

It feels/look like I’m really enthusiastic in GB/Council but ever since after the whole journey, I came back a different person. If you didn’t notice, I lost that lil part of my confidence in myself. That little key thing that mattered a lot to me made the key part of me being a leader shatter. I feel so fake because up till now, I still can’t put my whole heart into GB anymore. I’m sorry to have to say this, but it’s so true. I hesitate before accepting to serve in any event. I feel so distant from what I used to be so passionate about. The one thing that I grew up in my life with. I was here in GB since Primary 2, and look where have I gone?

I began to doubt myself. I can’t say ‘I will come back every week to serve, I can’t promise to come back and help Miss Wong anymore’. Sometimes I just felt, I shouldn’t have attended PBB after all. It really left me a deep scar there. Because when I return for GB, it just makes me hurt and feel like crying over and over again because of that thing I will not/never receive. I feel that whenever I go bac to attend events in GB, the experiences that I had in PBB just keeps replaying and replaying, the words that people said about me keeps replaying and replaying and I just can’t seem to go back anymore because it really hurts.

Because it serves as a constant reminder to me that I failed the PBB.